Dream Now... and Then.

Encrypt from my diary
Sunday December 27, 2009.
Cloudy, pale sky, little wind, slightly cold, some ice

Woke up from another dream, felt pressured and heavy. In the dream I dreamed of you, you are to leave me because you are with someone else (I can't tell who this girl is though, it's just a concept). I heard myself shouting "why?" "No!" "I'm different now that I made changes". I don't remember if I was crying in reality, but I had sweat all over me and inbetween awake and sleep I could feel that I was struggling. Woke up in the morning, not feeling well. It must be because I told myself not to think of any negative things for all these days, so in the dream I dreamed of the worse and negative thoughts. Will the dream become true in reality? People said dreams usually happen the opposite way in reality. Can I keep this hope?

From Dec.27's mass: "For those who seeks change, may God gives us strength..."
I knew God was blessing me and wishes me well through the mass prayers.


Wednesday January 20, 2010.
clear sky, no wind, not cold

Today afternoon I took a nap at 2:40pm.. in my dream I dreamed of this "special someone" and you. I don't know who that is either, it was purely a concept of "the one", a dark shadow of a person's silhouette. In the dream, "the one" was not you... the dream was sort of peaceful and I felt loved. Only God knows how real this dream is.

I woke up, not mad or sad. but only with some chest pain and slightly fast heartbeat.

I told myself that for now. I have myself and God's love with me. I shall find peace and joy and fear no more.