Things come in three

Yesterday / Last Night

3 rather unfortunate events:

1. Wanted to get works done! But... TRL internet signal SUX big time. I just wanted to send some emails! Spent 40 minutes to ended up logging on their wireless for 4 times, getting shitty signal and got kicked and can't even go on google. Bam! Spent 5 minutes to logged on their desktop to get the to send some emails within 5 minutes! Left the place in a fire to do some other tasks.
   
2. So I decided to go buy gemstone so I can work on my jewellery project. Spent 45 mins walk to Queen Street East by Church Street to buy some gemstones, they don't carry cap stones. Referred to another place to get some, the person works there today is the daughter and have no clue like me, so she spent sometime to dial some numbers and asked the owner. I did end up with some beautiful and cheap, great stones from the 80s! I might have gotten myself some real ivory too... but they really remain "mystery stones". Fun time thanks Jenna, but I spent more time than I intended.
3. Travel to Mississauga for a field trip. A long one for me. Got to Islington station, take the 35 Mississauga bus (3 extra $!). Got poof when I didn't put in enough coins (they have a coin counting machines, unlike ghetto TTC!) driver is cool about it jokes with me, got me a transfer, and then the bus rolled, even went on highway! cool. Thought I missed the stop but didn't. I got transfer safe and the other 51 bus didn't take long (lucky me to catch it!). and more getting lost as the darn place is so dark, I learned my lesson for never go to a place again without writing down the address.. (I ended up calling Johnny and Aggie for help to search for the place address.. thanks!). Thank goodness, I made it at the end but were 15 mins late since I stayed on the bus, it looped and went back the way cos the stop was missed. Driver was kind and asked me where I need to go so he showed me the stop. They need a voice station call like TTC! (ha! TTC is better in this)
   
4. Actually there's one more thing, a 4th thing! The tour was great, and the people there were kind, so at the end they asked the bunch of us what we think was a best things you saw. Each of the two groups have one person to say something. The manager looked at me, I was about to say something but my mind went blank, so this classmate of mine said something... I feel so regret. I have so much that I want to say. and I can see that they want me to say something as I was pretty active throughout the tour. Sometimes life is like that, you missed the chance to shine just by this much, when you had given all the chances you need, you ended up didn't make use of it. Anyway, I need to concentrate more whenever I can. I guess the day/night/week was long for me. :( I so wished I did tell them the things I am so impress about them too... sigh... well I did spent time said bye to them and appreciate their time tho!
   

Budget Cooking, Start Now!

Yes, I am going to be cooking my own and my mom's meals from now on.
Everyone has to grow up, isn't it?


So my recipes in my mind so far:

Cheap cuts Stew (cheapest meat in the supermarket, add onion, carrots, potatoes and stock, slow cook it, optional tomatoes paste/soup)

Vegetable Stew (just get whatever vegetables that look like a good combination and cook it in water. Maybe pumpkins are good, they are cheap too sometimes, also thinking I can add cream or tomatoes to make it different every time, add chicken if it's cheap)

Mashed Potatoes (you cannot go wrong on this, make it different with roast garlic, chives, cream of mushroom, or even frozen vegetables, need butter or milk/cream for sure)

Hummus Dip (cheapest and healthiest snack on the market, make your own out of $1 big can, you cannot go wrong! add garlic, different types of herbs, chilli sauce, roasted pepper, different types of beans, and then pour in oil/olive oil, blend. done!)

Fried noodles or Soup noodles (just stir fried it with some mince meat and vegetables, for soup noodles, I want to make my own chicken stock)

Chicken Stock (easy, get a chicken, some vegetables, boil, done, freeze it to store. the chicken meat can make sandwiches by adding mayo and herbs!)

Some other Chinese Dishes (Fried Tofu and vegetable with sauce, stir fried meat and vegetables, lemon chicken, Fried fish with vegetable and sauce, Mushroom ad vegetable stir fried)

Some kind of soup (Tofu and miso soup, sour and spicy soup, seaweed soup, chicken soup)

Korean appetizer (Yea, I can always just get some chili paste, or some vinegar and garlic to make appetizer out of vegetables)

Pickled vegetables (I always like sour things, so I will try pickled some different kinds of vegetables so I can eat it with congee or oatmeal)

Congee, Rice, Oatmeal, etc (and also bread, noodles, pastas and potatoes as my main source of carbohydrates)

Frozen Vegetables and fruits (believe it or not, I read an article that say frozen vegetables are more nutritious than non frozen one)

Anything with Herbs (I always love and love and love herbs, finally I get to do my own cooking, I got to do different things with them)

Respect has to be earned. Not by age.

I believe everyone deserves respect, the level of it does not depends on how old or young you are, how *well* you do in life in whichever area it is, how much good or bad things you do. Everyone deserves being treat with respect.

With one exception: You do not deserve my respect if you are being disrespectful to me and others.



I respect my elders in my family, I always listen to what they say, I even *idolize* them when I was younger because I used to believe the elders' words are always right. But recently, maybe since one or two years ago, my view on this changes.

I start to feel that I and other family members are being treated with lack of respect by them. It's not about what kinds of things they have done to the house, to the family, how much money they support us in different way, how nice they gave birth to my parent or what old age they are at so that they deserve my respect. I'm thankful for whatever things they have done, truly. They had already earned my respect since long time ago, they got it all, they were my idols, but they lost it all now! How?

I had learned to believe that for anyone to earn respect from me, first and forth most is to be respectful to me and others. Arrogant does not last a person long, people do not like arrogance in people. No one is right all the time, no one is obligate to do what others said, no one is to be control by anyone. If the only thing they have in their old minds is "I'm old, I am lived to be respected, and you just have to do that even tho I treat you like shit and talk shit about you." Sorry, you have lost my respect, forever.

They just don't respect me and others as human, period. This has turned me off from them slowly, and I'm now completely turned off now that they have pushed me off the edge, I'm out of here. In this case, I can no longer treat them well like I could have because I do not want to be close to a disrespectful person, let alone love them the way it should be.

I cannot believe I have just been told because I'm younger than them (*little young girl* I was called) and they are the seniors, so I do not need to be respect by them, can be called by nasty names, can be shout at, or beat up. They do not even care that I'm sad and feeling disrespected, I have to respect them and listen to them, just because they gave birth and raise me, and just because I'm younger than them.

These seniors do not deserve my respect and love. I am stating this here and now. No matter how old, how much seniority above me you are, if you don't even know how to respect others, you do not earn my respect. and sorry to say this, I think if at this age you still don't know how to be respectful to others, you have wasted yourself a lifetime. Period.



Searching online about this topic, I came across these very interesting comments that I can related to:

"...just because you're young doesn't mean the elders don't need to respect you. If one doesn't earn the respect, one will not get it."

"No Elders are not always right . We should respect them but not supposed to listen to all advice except those would be helpful."

"Length of living is not an apt criteria for judging whether a person is good or bad. His deeds during this period counts more... he has to earn his name"

"Respect is earned by how you treat others, it isn't something passed out after you reach a certain age."

Want to talk to you...

But really you must be busy, who can I call anytime I need?

Probably no one... plus I don't want to stress out my friends when I have to talk about problems...

So I figure I should try the helpline...

Hey, I made my tax worth by calling the Distress Centres of Toronto, try that next time your upset... at least it helps to get to talk to someone...! (but the wait time on hold is like half an hour at least)

A pad on my own shoulders that at least I did something constructive instead of sleeping or sitting around thinking bad things...

Tomorrow too, I will get to talk to someone... I need the feeling of being support and listened to, you don't have to tell me what I can do, all you need to do is be there and... yea... be there and show me you actually care.

Smart girls are the one who makes the move!

Yes. I learned that alot of time when you want to be happy, you've got to make the move!!

It used to be about my *pride* to play it cool, never pursuit much things in life. but I realized from many lessons that you are the only one who really can make yourself happy. No one else can, but you!!

I'm so glad I made many moves these days that actually turns out to be more than I expect - which is good! (oh yea, these first moves ranges from arranging nightouts and trips, calling a friend out of the blue just to say hi, to picking up guys wherever I feel like to... hahhaha!!)

Anyway, my latest score tonight is this amazing late 1970s super 8 movie camera and a projector for an amazing deal... Thanks to God who made me saw this posting online, thanks to *me* to contact the seller in a nearly compulsive way (cos it's such a great buy and I sooo want to do some old school filming experiments), arranged a pick up after numbers of emails and phone calls exchange and here I am a happy girl with my new awesome acquisitions!

On my way to be a film maker! ^-^ I will be making some films in this holiday baby!

But first I want to buy some super 8 film/cartoon to watch it on my awesome projector first heheh!!! ^0^

It's Not the End of the World

Just got this new of my close friend's pet/family member passes away..

I feel and act like one my best friend has just passed away, crying, just like the time when I heard my mom's father passed away, or when my friend died suddenly.

The bottom line is, you are not really mourning for the pet/dog itself. Your mourning for the time and love you spent with any creatures, the memories of the times you spent together, the fun/frustration/happiness/whatever emotions you had during that time. These bunches of emotional strings attached that is really not about the creature/thing itself, but more to the records/pictures you have in your head that suddenly, when this object are no longer exist, you realized, there's no way you can relive the same feeling.

It's like when we were kid we cry when we broke or lost something precious to us. When we grow a little older we no longer cry about physical things that we break, we then cry about loss of jobs or school cos we thought we can rely on money and social success. After a while, we learned that jobs, school and money really doesn't matter, true inner happiness is the what matters so you focus on friends and family. Now we grow even more older, and we cry about our friends and family pass away, cos we realized our lives can be done so easily. and then after a few funerals, we learned that "that's life, no one will be living forever", all we have to do is be more careful, live for the moment in a reasonable manner and keep ourselves up there chasing our own happiness the best we can.

The older we grow, the less we really cry about things... soon, when I or you get so much more older we will just all be these peaceful wise men and wise women who say to everything: "It's not the end of the world"

Yes, life is short, it's not the end of the world, world continues to go around even when you disappear from the living world. The ultimate matter is, I guess, live our lives, and if you can, leave some form of impression on the world while your here?! (What that impression depends on what you want to do with your life)

BTW, I hope the end of the world is not coming anytime soon, or else we will all be crying for real this time!

Hey Guys

So what about dating someone now?

Sure, why not! But I realized it's hard to find compatible people nowadays... I feel like the older you get the more 'restrictions' you got, cos each of us are pretty much shaped at my age... and it's a weird feeling when you feel that there's this social gap around each one of us that keep us different from others... Once we fall into a certain 'groupies' we just sort of grew apart, isn't it?

It's not like we are young and playing in a sandbox where you don't give a damn who this person you playing with is anymore...

On the other hand, it's fun though, as always, meeting people is extremely fun for me and I love it!

Keep loving!

Re: Screwed

I'm screwed!

So yea, taking it slow!! I can't wait for some more schoolwork...

Screwed

Yea. I'm screwed!

Trying to unscrew.. will I succeed? Tomorrow I will know.

Life is like Ceramics

So today's material research class we had this presentation about Ceramics as design material.

Do you know that ceramics can withstand pressure better than steel? There were a test done comparing four steel bowls and four ceramic bowls placing under four tires of a car. the steel bowls were squished but the ceramic bowls sustained.

Do you know that a large part of space shuttles are covered by silica ceramics that is able to withstand 1250 degrees Celsius?

Do you know that porcelain not only can be made into art and utility wares, but it is use for building materials both interior and exterior, dentals or pipes and more.. it won't stain, scratch, absorb moisture, damaged by chemical cleaning or rust!

All of these ceramics are made out of a mix of different minerals all found in earth/dirt... with a good amount of mixture and certain amount of temperature to heat up, it becomes such durable materials...

I find this very amazing... aren't we all similar to ceramics? Life is all about how we use ourselves to become who we want to be... We are all humans made out of the same 'materials', but what we want to do with our lives is up to us. Do we want to put in our lives to money? health? religion? friends? family? Do we want to take our good or bad experiences as learning opportunities so we will mature and become stronger and 'harder to break'? or do we just want to stay the same as we always are - soil/dirt/earth...?

I want to just stay like 'dirt', to be honest.. Just simple life that I can have fun, enjoying the nature.. blah blah blah... but I realized it's really not a good choice if I want to 'survive' in this world at these days...

Am I just lazy or afraid to change? Maybe... Mind you, once it's fired up, ceramic is non-reversible...! When ceramics finish it's tasks, it can be grind up and use as a great fertilizer absorbing agent to keep soil fertile on farm fields... much like what we will end up being - back to be in the dirt.

Do we really need to complicate our lives if we will just go back to the 'dirt' at the end? What is the goal of life really? Do we all really need to be 'so strong, tough, hard'??