That's the end of Vancouver 2010, it's been an inspiring journey with many moments that made me tried so hard to hold my tears.
Olympic is definitely not just about winning, it's about the love of what you are doing and sacrifices you are willing to take to reach that goal of your dream, it's about the continual confident spirit that brings one to challenge the limit of your body and mind. It's about believing the unachievable dream!!! I admire all the athletes, they are the most courageous and hard working individuals in the world!
Their world is so simple (hours of repetitive practices) yet, so complex (the ability to expand the body and will power within the matter of seconds). Extraordinary!!! God bless all athletes and I shall learn from their stories! Thank you for bringing us and the nation closer together by having this amazing event. ^^b
Lastly, I want to share this beautiful Video Essay with essay written by Globe and Mail columnist Stephen Brunt:
After a difficult start to the games, Canada's Olympic provided the entire nation with an opportunity to display its pride.
Let's be honest, it didn't start out very well, a tragic death on day one, an embarrassing malfunction at the worse possible moment in the Olympic opening ceremonies, the snow melting away on Cypress Mountain, the cauldron cruelly fenced off from those who wanted to blast in its glow. It seem like this Olympics might not recover from that stumbling start. And that was before we realized, it wasn't going to be quite so easy to be on the podium. Before the crushing pressure to perform at home, shatter the confidence of some of the Canada's best metals hopes.
But even as those inside the Olympic bubble, were threatened, and ringing their hands, on the outside, on the streets, and not just here in Vancouver and Whistler, but right across Canada, something remarkable is taking place. It was as though the entire country was given permission to feel something it needed to feel. And it was the country who set the tone for these games, and not the other way around. A sense began with the torch relay, and kept right on building. Even after Alexandra Bilodeau's victory, the historic first gold metal and those unforgettable images with him and his brother, it wasn't quite the script as we were expected. The story was suppose to be all about winning, about finishing first, about putting a new swagger in our stuff. Turns out the swagger is already there, it was just waiting for the right stage.
And by the time Jon Montgomery made his famous stroll through the streets in Whistler, all of Canada was walking beside him, reaching for that pitch of beer. The numbers of medals didn't really matter, though in the end the numbers is gonna be just fine. We didn't really need to own anything. What matters was the occasion, what matters was the event, what matters was the excuse to wave the flag and sing the anthem and shout it out loud.
Cynicism is easy, so is retraining into historic grudges, so is looking at the world which what ones borders are now dotted lines at best. And believe me it doesn't matter what you called yourself, or where you live. It does matter what we stood at, it is important to have a share of history, there is power through the collective experience, and admit it, it feels good. It feels good to let your heart shout.
Watch the video here
Another article by Brunt: "New Patriot Love"
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Putting humor into faults
To believe that it is possible! Finally, Canada has this amazing event that we can be proud of, this event brought us all together and BE PROUD to be who we are!!! Canadians, no matter how rough the Olympic started off with, you pulled it together beautifully~!
The opening ceremony did not go too well, we were so anxious about when is our first gold medal going to come, but look at us, after a while, we just keep cheering on, with our hope high up, we made it through one medal at a time. Now we got this amazing record of gold medal in Winter Olympic history! and our closing ceremony is wittily organized!
Especially LOVE the closing ceremony where you made up for the cauldron with the miming!!! ^0^ only pure genius put humor into faults! (It teaches me that things can be made up, if your willing to, and it might even be better results than before!!!)
I'm learning to put humor into everything- accept, not resisting and go with the flow! Smile and everything is okay!!! Good things will follow with you if your embracing everything!! At the end of the day, it's all about trying your hardest right NOW, enjoying the moment NOW, not thinking back to the past and not worry about the future!
Theme Song of Vancouver Olympic 2010
There comes a moment when my heart must stand alone
On this lonely path I've chosen
like a house thats not a home
sometimes when I feel I've had enough
and I feel like giving up
you willed me to be all I can be
now nothing can stop me
I believe in the power that comes
From a world brought together as one
I believe together we'll fly
I believe in the power of you and I
The opening ceremony did not go too well, we were so anxious about when is our first gold medal going to come, but look at us, after a while, we just keep cheering on, with our hope high up, we made it through one medal at a time. Now we got this amazing record of gold medal in Winter Olympic history! and our closing ceremony is wittily organized!
Especially LOVE the closing ceremony where you made up for the cauldron with the miming!!! ^0^ only pure genius put humor into faults! (It teaches me that things can be made up, if your willing to, and it might even be better results than before!!!)
I'm learning to put humor into everything- accept, not resisting and go with the flow! Smile and everything is okay!!! Good things will follow with you if your embracing everything!! At the end of the day, it's all about trying your hardest right NOW, enjoying the moment NOW, not thinking back to the past and not worry about the future!
Theme Song of Vancouver Olympic 2010
There comes a moment when my heart must stand alone
On this lonely path I've chosen
like a house thats not a home
sometimes when I feel I've had enough
and I feel like giving up
you willed me to be all I can be
now nothing can stop me
I believe in the power that comes
From a world brought together as one
I believe together we'll fly
I believe in the power of you and I
Catch the Chance, Believe and get it!!
I am extremely proud and excited for Canada Men's hockey team!
In the beginning of the game,
they got the lead, they almost got it!
Only around 23 more seconds they could have got gold!
NO!! Americans tied it!
Over time?? "No problem!"
Took a break, reorganized, fight on!
They were on fire! Never give up any chances!
Americans were stunted!
Suddenly there's the golden goal,
unexpected for most,
and it was even unexpected for the shooter Crosby,
but it was expected for me.
Because it's about time!!!! I never have a doubt that they will win this!
(I'm not just saying it now that they won, I did told everyone Canada's going to get Gold tonight!)
God must have let us waited for the overtime
God delay this gift because He wants to give us only the greatest joy!!!
Crosby said in his interview: "just catching chances, eventually it will go in." I too, need to learn to catch chances, and it will be success given to me from God soon when I am ready.
Delaying in the moment, I know that the best from God for me will soon be arrived!! and it will be the most extraordinary thing happened to me!!!
I need to work hard, I can't stand still anymore!! I have to get moving and get that "goal"!
May the Holy Spirit comes upon me and you and everyone to give us peace. May God give us strength to do everything through His power! Everything is possible, when you believe, pray and ask for it!!!
In the beginning of the game,
they got the lead, they almost got it!
Only around 23 more seconds they could have got gold!
NO!! Americans tied it!
Over time?? "No problem!"
Took a break, reorganized, fight on!
They were on fire! Never give up any chances!
Americans were stunted!
Suddenly there's the golden goal,
unexpected for most,
and it was even unexpected for the shooter Crosby,
but it was expected for me.
Because it's about time!!!! I never have a doubt that they will win this!
(I'm not just saying it now that they won, I did told everyone Canada's going to get Gold tonight!)
God must have let us waited for the overtime
God delay this gift because He wants to give us only the greatest joy!!!
Crosby said in his interview: "just catching chances, eventually it will go in." I too, need to learn to catch chances, and it will be success given to me from God soon when I am ready.
Delaying in the moment, I know that the best from God for me will soon be arrived!! and it will be the most extraordinary thing happened to me!!!
I need to work hard, I can't stand still anymore!! I have to get moving and get that "goal"!
May the Holy Spirit comes upon me and you and everyone to give us peace. May God give us strength to do everything through His power! Everything is possible, when you believe, pray and ask for it!!!
Church Teachings - Feb. 28, 10. Second Sunday of Lent
First Reading: 5 And he brought him outside and said, "Look toward heaven, and number the stars, if you are able to number them." Then he said to him, "So shall your descendants be." 6 And he believed the LORD; and he reckoned it to him as righteousness. 7 And he said to him, "I am the LORD who brought you from Ur of the Chalde'ans, to give you this land to possess." 8 But he said, "O Lord GOD, how am I to know that I shall possess it?" 9 He said to him, "Bring me a heifer three years old, a she-goat three years old, a ram three years old, a turtledove, and a young pigeon." 10 And he brought him all these, cut them in two, and laid each half over against the other; but he did not cut the birds in two. 11 And when birds of prey came down upon the carcasses, Abram drove them away. 12 As the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell on Abram; and lo, a dread and great darkness fell upon him. 17 When the sun had gone down and it was dark, behold, a smoking fire pot and a flaming torch passed between these pieces. 18 On that day the LORD made a covenant with Abram, saying, "To your descendants I give this land, from the river of Egypt to the great river, the river Euphra'tes, - Genesis 15:5-12, 17-18
Abram (later called Abraham) is the "Father of Faith". He formed a covenant with God who promised him a son of his own and descendants that are number of the stars in the sky. He later conceive a son through his wife's servant Hagar which God told Abram that this son is not the son He promised him. Doesn't know what's God's plan, Abram never doubt God and renew the covenant with God whose once again repeated His promise of descendants as many as stars and a son who will become the king of the nations, 13 years later, God finally granted Abram his own son out of the 100 years old him and his 99 years old wife, Sarai.
God's promise to us never fail, even if we sway from the path in some moments in our lives, even if we denial Him for sometime during our lives - God still plan the best for all of us always. And for whatever things we ask the Lord, He always grant us. (Like how Abram prayed many years for a son of his own) Our "covenant" with God never breaks, God is always there waiting for us to go back to Him and follow His words. Through tests and trial, our faith strengthen and brought us closer to God (like how God tested Abram by having his servant bare his other child first). We shall never doubt whatever planned ahead of us. Whatever happened is only for our good. Our rewards shall be granted once we become true disciples of the Lord. All we have to do is being faithful to God, because God's faithful to us always and forever.
Gospel: 28 Now about eight days after these sayings he took with him Peter and John and James, and went up on the mountain to pray. 29 And as he was praying, the appearance of his countenance was altered, and his raiment became dazzling white. 30 And behold, two men talked with him, Moses and Eli'jah, 31 who appeared in glory and spoke of his departure, which he was to accomplish at Jerusalem. 32 Now Peter and those who were with him were heavy with sleep, and when they wakened they saw his glory and the two men who stood with him. 33 And as the men were parting from him, Peter said to Jesus, "Master, it is well that we are here; let us make three booths, one for you and one for Moses and one for Eli'jah" -- not knowing what he said. 34 As he said this, a cloud came and overshadowed them; and they were afraid as they entered the cloud. 35 And a voice came out of the cloud, saying, "This is my Son, my Chosen; listen to him!" 36 And when the voice had spoken, Jesus was found alone. And they kept silence and told no one in those days anything of what they had seen. - Luke 9: 28-36
Jesus - "Voice of God"
Moses - "Man of Deliverance"
Eli'jah - "Man of Prophets"
Peter, John and James - "Men of Disciples"
Abram (later called Abraham) is the "Father of Faith". He formed a covenant with God who promised him a son of his own and descendants that are number of the stars in the sky. He later conceive a son through his wife's servant Hagar which God told Abram that this son is not the son He promised him. Doesn't know what's God's plan, Abram never doubt God and renew the covenant with God whose once again repeated His promise of descendants as many as stars and a son who will become the king of the nations, 13 years later, God finally granted Abram his own son out of the 100 years old him and his 99 years old wife, Sarai.
God's promise to us never fail, even if we sway from the path in some moments in our lives, even if we denial Him for sometime during our lives - God still plan the best for all of us always. And for whatever things we ask the Lord, He always grant us. (Like how Abram prayed many years for a son of his own) Our "covenant" with God never breaks, God is always there waiting for us to go back to Him and follow His words. Through tests and trial, our faith strengthen and brought us closer to God (like how God tested Abram by having his servant bare his other child first). We shall never doubt whatever planned ahead of us. Whatever happened is only for our good. Our rewards shall be granted once we become true disciples of the Lord. All we have to do is being faithful to God, because God's faithful to us always and forever.
Gospel: 28 Now about eight days after these sayings he took with him Peter and John and James, and went up on the mountain to pray. 29 And as he was praying, the appearance of his countenance was altered, and his raiment became dazzling white. 30 And behold, two men talked with him, Moses and Eli'jah, 31 who appeared in glory and spoke of his departure, which he was to accomplish at Jerusalem. 32 Now Peter and those who were with him were heavy with sleep, and when they wakened they saw his glory and the two men who stood with him. 33 And as the men were parting from him, Peter said to Jesus, "Master, it is well that we are here; let us make three booths, one for you and one for Moses and one for Eli'jah" -- not knowing what he said. 34 As he said this, a cloud came and overshadowed them; and they were afraid as they entered the cloud. 35 And a voice came out of the cloud, saying, "This is my Son, my Chosen; listen to him!" 36 And when the voice had spoken, Jesus was found alone. And they kept silence and told no one in those days anything of what they had seen. - Luke 9: 28-36
Jesus - "Voice of God"
Moses - "Man of Deliverance"
Eli'jah - "Man of Prophets"
Peter, John and James - "Men of Disciples"
Pray it like you mean it
"When you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think they will be heard for their many words" - Matthew 6:7
"Blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it" - Luke 11:28
We can always be sure that God hears us. But do we always hear Him? When we pray, do we mean what we prayed? Do we truly believe and act in God's way??? Or do we just memorize Our Father, Hail Mar and Glory Be and pray mechanically?
I have to improve on this too...! I learned to personalize my prayers, make it like talking to a "friend". Then I pray the standard prayers, slowly and mean what I say.
Most importantly, you don't just pray for things to happen, we are to hear Him, follow His way - be a good person and do good deeds.
Be patience and trust Him, believe that for whatever we praying for, God has promised us to be given to us very soon! ^^
"Blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it" - Luke 11:28
We can always be sure that God hears us. But do we always hear Him? When we pray, do we mean what we prayed? Do we truly believe and act in God's way??? Or do we just memorize Our Father, Hail Mar and Glory Be and pray mechanically?
I have to improve on this too...! I learned to personalize my prayers, make it like talking to a "friend". Then I pray the standard prayers, slowly and mean what I say.
Most importantly, you don't just pray for things to happen, we are to hear Him, follow His way - be a good person and do good deeds.
Be patience and trust Him, believe that for whatever we praying for, God has promised us to be given to us very soon! ^^
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Miss Congeniality
When we describe a person as "congenial" - They are friendly, compatible, agreeable, adaptive, consistent, gracious, pleasant, pleasing, mellow, sociable, cooperative, cordial, sympathetic, favorable, jovial, kind, considerate, approachable, gentle, and happy.
This is my ideal personality. I have been too angry, too tough, too rough, too bad in communication and too less of a girl... (gosh, that's how my family is, what do you expect when I always stuck with them?) I really don't like this part of me. I feel like I don't fit to be anyone's girlfriend or wife. WHY!! Why am I like this? Why can't I born as a girly girl!!! Why?
Sigh... I don't want to go into this negativity again. But there is this time I feel I am a really bad person. I want to be a good girlfriend and wife!! I have to work hard, I know I can be who I want to be, I always wanted to be this "congenial" girl, I always admire mellow, gentle kind of girls.
But is this possible for me??? -__- I have been looking at our Mother Mary's pictures and praying to her for a while now, I told her, "I want to be like you, please give me strength and courage to make changes on myself..." will I finally become a gracious girl one day???
I want to believe... but I can't help to want to cry... if only I'm a girly gentle girl comes from a healthy family, I can already have no problem with my personality and my relationship and could have already graduated, got nice job, got married, got my life all set and happy.
Sorry God, I am thinking negative again, I can't help. Because the way I am, I hate it. I promised myself not to hate anything but embrace and love everything. But I realized I hate myself the most now?!
Take away my anger and hatred please, I want to love, not hate, what's wrong with me!!!
This is my ideal personality. I have been too angry, too tough, too rough, too bad in communication and too less of a girl... (gosh, that's how my family is, what do you expect when I always stuck with them?) I really don't like this part of me. I feel like I don't fit to be anyone's girlfriend or wife. WHY!! Why am I like this? Why can't I born as a girly girl!!! Why?
Sigh... I don't want to go into this negativity again. But there is this time I feel I am a really bad person. I want to be a good girlfriend and wife!! I have to work hard, I know I can be who I want to be, I always wanted to be this "congenial" girl, I always admire mellow, gentle kind of girls.
But is this possible for me??? -__- I have been looking at our Mother Mary's pictures and praying to her for a while now, I told her, "I want to be like you, please give me strength and courage to make changes on myself..." will I finally become a gracious girl one day???
I want to believe... but I can't help to want to cry... if only I'm a girly gentle girl comes from a healthy family, I can already have no problem with my personality and my relationship and could have already graduated, got nice job, got married, got my life all set and happy.
Sorry God, I am thinking negative again, I can't help. Because the way I am, I hate it. I promised myself not to hate anything but embrace and love everything. But I realized I hate myself the most now?!
Take away my anger and hatred please, I want to love, not hate, what's wrong with me!!!
愛 . 雪 . 笑
雪
今年冬天，很少雪
但這一個星期一直下雪
今天早上醒來後，我花了幾分鐘望著窗外，看著大雪紛飛。
雪花大，沒有很大風，我最喜歡的其中一個類型的雪。
看這樣的雪，我的心也放鬆了。
突然想到了人生第一次見到雪那種興奮和驚訝。
畢竟這十年多來，雪，成為習慣，那種感覺早已消失。
換來的祗是麻木和缺乏感覺。
但是今天早上，我看著外面，我心想：“好漂亮的雪，雖然人們要艱難的鏟雪，雖然雪對無家可歸的人很慘，但雪，它其實仍是如此美麗的，只是我忽略了它”
在積雪之下，一切也很平靜和美麗。 愛就像雪吧？
遺憾就讓它隨風吹走，落下的剩餘祗有愛，讓它掩蓋和熔化所有的仇恨和恐懼。待春天的時候一切都會從融化的“愛”中更新生命。
我仍然相信愛，愛仍是美麗的。想著想著，我心很放鬆，我的嘴也微笑了。我想永遠看著“愛"美麗的一面。其實快樂就是這樣吧？
"Love never fails" - 1 Corinthians 13:8
今年冬天，很少雪
但這一個星期一直下雪
今天早上醒來後，我花了幾分鐘望著窗外，看著大雪紛飛。
雪花大，沒有很大風，我最喜歡的其中一個類型的雪。
看這樣的雪，我的心也放鬆了。
突然想到了人生第一次見到雪那種興奮和驚訝。
畢竟這十年多來，雪，成為習慣，那種感覺早已消失。
換來的祗是麻木和缺乏感覺。
但是今天早上，我看著外面，我心想：“好漂亮的雪，雖然人們要艱難的鏟雪，雖然雪對無家可歸的人很慘，但雪，它其實仍是如此美麗的，只是我忽略了它”
在積雪之下，一切也很平靜和美麗。 愛就像雪吧？
遺憾就讓它隨風吹走，落下的剩餘祗有愛，讓它掩蓋和熔化所有的仇恨和恐懼。待春天的時候一切都會從融化的“愛”中更新生命。
我仍然相信愛，愛仍是美麗的。想著想著，我心很放鬆，我的嘴也微笑了。我想永遠看著“愛"美麗的一面。其實快樂就是這樣吧？
"Love never fails" - 1 Corinthians 13:8
Friday, February 26, 2010
Warm Snow, Round Moon
Such a warm night tonight,
I walked to and from a Friday mass.
The snow was everywhere, the sky was clear.
With all the snow around me, it was a pleasant walk, it was nothing like how it looks like - I would have thought this is a cold night if I were to stay indoor and look outside.
Once I was outside. It's such a warm winter night. No wind at all. - reminds of how we can never tell everything by looking at the outside.
I can't help but reach out my hand to grab some snow to feel this night's present and my very own present. It's been so so long since I last actually hold on to any snow with my bare hand. Surprisingly, it's not at all cold, it melted into water instantly, dripped down my fingers when I have my arm and hand relaxed downward. My right hand was not hurtfully frozen from the melted snow, instead, it's rather refreshing, which I would never expect from touching snow in winter.
Keep on walking, I suddenly notice there's the full moon above the sky. About one or two weeks ago, it was just a new moon turning to half moon. Now it's the full moon again. I realized how fast the time flew, it's already another full moon! The last full moon was the big yellow full moon I saw the night after we went snowtubing in January.
Suddenly, the wind and air that froze me to bones back in December and January and even last night, becomes this warm mellowly snow and gentle moon light that melts everything inside me, I can feel the peace in me.
Thanks for the peaceful walk, simple things like this encouraged me to keep doing what I am doing and what I need to do.
Winter won't last long. Soon, I can already see the buds start growing on trees. Everything evolves, what's going to happen next? I can only say it will be spring again, that's for sure!! ^_^
I walked to and from a Friday mass.
The snow was everywhere, the sky was clear.
With all the snow around me, it was a pleasant walk, it was nothing like how it looks like - I would have thought this is a cold night if I were to stay indoor and look outside.
Once I was outside. It's such a warm winter night. No wind at all. - reminds of how we can never tell everything by looking at the outside.
I can't help but reach out my hand to grab some snow to feel this night's present and my very own present. It's been so so long since I last actually hold on to any snow with my bare hand. Surprisingly, it's not at all cold, it melted into water instantly, dripped down my fingers when I have my arm and hand relaxed downward. My right hand was not hurtfully frozen from the melted snow, instead, it's rather refreshing, which I would never expect from touching snow in winter.
Keep on walking, I suddenly notice there's the full moon above the sky. About one or two weeks ago, it was just a new moon turning to half moon. Now it's the full moon again. I realized how fast the time flew, it's already another full moon! The last full moon was the big yellow full moon I saw the night after we went snowtubing in January.
Suddenly, the wind and air that froze me to bones back in December and January and even last night, becomes this warm mellowly snow and gentle moon light that melts everything inside me, I can feel the peace in me.
Thanks for the peaceful walk, simple things like this encouraged me to keep doing what I am doing and what I need to do.
Winter won't last long. Soon, I can already see the buds start growing on trees. Everything evolves, what's going to happen next? I can only say it will be spring again, that's for sure!! ^_^
Let's all Live like a Figure Skater
I am so amazed by Kim Yu Na in last night's perfect performance!
She "flew" on ice like some sort of angel or fairy. In that moment, all she did was skated on freely and effortlessly, she was a free spirit with all the unlimited power she ever needed. There's nothing to hold her back nor she has anything to hold onto.
Being a figure skater means being non-resistance. It means you are in the flow with the surrounding and power, you don't control or stress it, you simply become part of the flow - make yourself glide on ice. It means you throw away all the fear of falling and the fear of losing, there's no more worry because you become a part of the place. Your mind and body and the surrounding all come together into one because you don't fight the surrounding, instead you let it carries you around, so you skate and glide freely. It means carry yourself with all your energy and concentration to do every moves - while without thinking too hard about it, like doing a sort of meditation, you place your whole heart into this natural state where you become this medium delivering the jumps and moves you grew onto after million times of practice. Lastly, it means you live in the present because there's only "now" for you to skate, not in the past practice nor in the unknown future. There would be no worry, no fear, no anxiety, no anger but only joyfulness in the present. You have the chance to skate NOW and this is what you are and all that matters. You would then enjoy every moment of the present and live free!
If we can all live our lives like a figure skater, we can all be free of any sufferings and all be fill with success and happiness!
"Stand Like Mountain, Flow like Water"
She "flew" on ice like some sort of angel or fairy. In that moment, all she did was skated on freely and effortlessly, she was a free spirit with all the unlimited power she ever needed. There's nothing to hold her back nor she has anything to hold onto.
Being a figure skater means being non-resistance. It means you are in the flow with the surrounding and power, you don't control or stress it, you simply become part of the flow - make yourself glide on ice. It means you throw away all the fear of falling and the fear of losing, there's no more worry because you become a part of the place. Your mind and body and the surrounding all come together into one because you don't fight the surrounding, instead you let it carries you around, so you skate and glide freely. It means carry yourself with all your energy and concentration to do every moves - while without thinking too hard about it, like doing a sort of meditation, you place your whole heart into this natural state where you become this medium delivering the jumps and moves you grew onto after million times of practice. Lastly, it means you live in the present because there's only "now" for you to skate, not in the past practice nor in the unknown future. There would be no worry, no fear, no anxiety, no anger but only joyfulness in the present. You have the chance to skate NOW and this is what you are and all that matters. You would then enjoy every moment of the present and live free!
If we can all live our lives like a figure skater, we can all be free of any sufferings and all be fill with success and happiness!
"Stand Like Mountain, Flow like Water"
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Opposite Thinking
"Count your blessings — but not everyday. Sonja Lyubomirsky, an experimental psychologist at UC Riverside, found that people who once a week wrote down five things they were grateful for were happier than those who did it three times a week. "It's an issue of timing or frequency," says Lyubomirsky, "When people do anything too often it loses the freshness and meaning. You need to have optimal timing." Lyubomirsky added that it has to feel right. She tried to count her blessings and hated it. "I found it hokey. It didn't work for me. Just like a diet program, what you do has to fit your lifestyle, personality and goals." In essence, gratitude might not be for everyone. But if it is, another exercise is to think of a person who has been kind to you that you've wanted to thank — a teacher, mentor or parent — and write a letter, once a week to different individuals over two months. You don't even have to send it to feel happier." - Excerpt from an Article called "20 Ways to Get and Stay Happy"
Since the Christmas, I started to write journal, I do find it hard to always talk about happy things, at first I wrote whatever comes to my mind - negative mostly. But soon, after reading and listening some books/tapes, I learned that by "forcing myself" to write things down in a positive way (like thinking things from opposite direction of what you normally negatively put), it helps to make me feel better.
Am I over doing it? Not sure. All I know is I now tend to think in opposite now- meaning, positive (cos I used to think many things in negative). It's a funny feeling, it feels like I step back away from "myself" and look at "this person's" situation, I can help "her" the best I can like how I can help others, I can advise "her" from what "I see" now. I see more, I feel calm and I feel I can help/fix/do everything for "this person" (myself)!
IMHO, Being grateful or too grateful (like the above article mentioned) doesn't matter, as long as it work for you. It works for me to think everything grateful because I need this much needed positive perspective that I lack. I feel that I have to fill myself up fully with this flow for me to break the old habit.
Since the Christmas, I started to write journal, I do find it hard to always talk about happy things, at first I wrote whatever comes to my mind - negative mostly. But soon, after reading and listening some books/tapes, I learned that by "forcing myself" to write things down in a positive way (like thinking things from opposite direction of what you normally negatively put), it helps to make me feel better.
Am I over doing it? Not sure. All I know is I now tend to think in opposite now- meaning, positive (cos I used to think many things in negative). It's a funny feeling, it feels like I step back away from "myself" and look at "this person's" situation, I can help "her" the best I can like how I can help others, I can advise "her" from what "I see" now. I see more, I feel calm and I feel I can help/fix/do everything for "this person" (myself)!
IMHO, Being grateful or too grateful (like the above article mentioned) doesn't matter, as long as it work for you. It works for me to think everything grateful because I need this much needed positive perspective that I lack. I feel that I have to fill myself up fully with this flow for me to break the old habit.
Time Well Wasted
Recently, I feel like I don't have enough of time!!!
Does this mean I am starting to roll back to be busier than before? (I want to believe)
Back in a few years ago, I used to be so depress and think that there are so much time and don't know what to do with it - except I was waiting.
What was I waiting for??? I was waiting for some "salvation" - someone or something to cheer and bring me up. and I finally get it NOW. ^~^
The "thing" that can save me is all in myself. I have to save myself from being depress, no one else can do it, not my family, not my friends, not my doctor, not my boyfriend. >_<
I am willing to do it now, no one else can do it for me. No one else but me and with God's help. ^-^ I "wasted" tens of years to figure this out. and I know where to go FINALLY.
I am going to being this person I want to be - happy! ^0^
Does this mean I am starting to roll back to be busier than before? (I want to believe)
Back in a few years ago, I used to be so depress and think that there are so much time and don't know what to do with it - except I was waiting.
What was I waiting for??? I was waiting for some "salvation" - someone or something to cheer and bring me up. and I finally get it NOW. ^~^
The "thing" that can save me is all in myself. I have to save myself from being depress, no one else can do it, not my family, not my friends, not my doctor, not my boyfriend. >_<
I am willing to do it now, no one else can do it for me. No one else but me and with God's help. ^-^ I "wasted" tens of years to figure this out. and I know where to go FINALLY.
I am going to being this person I want to be - happy! ^0^
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Breakfast
Today morning I went to the morning mass.
I had been thinking of going to the morning mass for a few weeks now, I finally did it!
I was going to tell myself on my bed struggling to get up: "How about tomorrow?" (cos I have my study week this week)
But I was like, if I want to do this, I will do it NOW. No excuse of not going because I would have sleeping anyway! So I literally woke up, dressed, go and drive there to the church.
I went!
Taking the Eucharist as "breakfast" is a good feeling.
What a great breakfast! hahaha.
My next goal: go to weekday Mass on every Wednesday (or more).
I had been thinking of going to the morning mass for a few weeks now, I finally did it!
I was going to tell myself on my bed struggling to get up: "How about tomorrow?" (cos I have my study week this week)
But I was like, if I want to do this, I will do it NOW. No excuse of not going because I would have sleeping anyway! So I literally woke up, dressed, go and drive there to the church.
I went!
Taking the Eucharist as "breakfast" is a good feeling.
What a great breakfast! hahaha.
My next goal: go to weekday Mass on every Wednesday (or more).
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Re: Blessed are those who's hammering
Funny how I posted this posting yesterday and then immediately on today morning my neighbour and his family were there out by the garage getting their day started.
I greeted them with good morning and asked them how are you.
And then before I get into my car, I asked, "so how's the renovation going?" One of the guys said "Good! Two more days and will be done!" I then said "Good! That's nice!"
I think in my head "Wow, God did give me answer" hahaha, so very very soon there will be no more noise. Thank God!
I greeted them with good morning and asked them how are you.
And then before I get into my car, I asked, "so how's the renovation going?" One of the guys said "Good! Two more days and will be done!" I then said "Good! That's nice!"
I think in my head "Wow, God did give me answer" hahaha, so very very soon there will be no more noise. Thank God!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Blessed are those who's hammering!!
No, I'm not talking about "hammering" anyone!
It's just my new neighbour next door who is renovating for more than a week now.
They started around noon till really really later - 1am (at least)
At first I was bit intimidated by the constant noise they produced (not extremely loud noise, but it does interrupt me when I am working, reading or sleeping!). Later, I learned to accept. and just a few minutes ago, I told them in my heart "God bless you, just the two of you work so hard, I really hope you get the job done right."
Yes, they need help, (and I'm thinking if I should go help them so they get it done faster!!!) hahhahahha ^0^
God, give them strength to finish the work sooner? hahhaha. (so I can have more peace soon too and my grandparents would stop bad mouthing them constantly)
It's just my new neighbour next door who is renovating for more than a week now.
They started around noon till really really later - 1am (at least)
At first I was bit intimidated by the constant noise they produced (not extremely loud noise, but it does interrupt me when I am working, reading or sleeping!). Later, I learned to accept. and just a few minutes ago, I told them in my heart "God bless you, just the two of you work so hard, I really hope you get the job done right."
Yes, they need help, (and I'm thinking if I should go help them so they get it done faster!!!) hahhahahha ^0^
God, give them strength to finish the work sooner? hahhaha. (so I can have more peace soon too and my grandparents would stop bad mouthing them constantly)
Devotional - No Fear
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." - 1 John 4:18
What is there to fear if God sent his Son to die to redeem us? What is there to fear if we cannot be separated from the love God has for us in Christ Jesus? What is there to fear except ourselves? As we love God and his children, we are reminded by his love for us, which is far better than our meager love for others. Rather than run from him in fear, we bow before him in thanks, knowing that he who hears our prayers is also he who loves us and stops our fears
Prayer:
Loving Father, thank you that I can revere you without fearing your wrath. Thank you that I can revere your word and yet not be terrified by my inadequacies. May your love in me produce a closer likeness to your holiness, righteousness, justice, and mercy than all the laws, threats, and judges combined. Through Jesus, who ransomed me from sin, I pray. Amen.
Devotionals from Christianity.com
What is there to fear if God sent his Son to die to redeem us? What is there to fear if we cannot be separated from the love God has for us in Christ Jesus? What is there to fear except ourselves? As we love God and his children, we are reminded by his love for us, which is far better than our meager love for others. Rather than run from him in fear, we bow before him in thanks, knowing that he who hears our prayers is also he who loves us and stops our fears
Prayer:
Loving Father, thank you that I can revere you without fearing your wrath. Thank you that I can revere your word and yet not be terrified by my inadequacies. May your love in me produce a closer likeness to your holiness, righteousness, justice, and mercy than all the laws, threats, and judges combined. Through Jesus, who ransomed me from sin, I pray. Amen.
Devotionals from Christianity.com
The Best Wake Up Call
No, it wasn't any particular mental realization call.
Just that I woke up with something I did not expected: Right at the moment when I slowly opened my eyes, when the light had just literally shined in my eyes, when my eyes had just took in darkness, to grey to brightness. I said it out in my tongue: "Thank God" ^-^ stretched out my arms and make a stretch, with my mind just started to gain conscious, I said another words: "Thank you for giving me another day. Today is going to be nice." Very faintly, very quietly, I heard myself saying that... O_o WHAT? I cannot believe, still. O_O Yo, I'm not making this up, I think I had finally got something rolling in my "overhauling" goal! ^0^ (Is my gratefulness growing back on me finally?????!!?)
What a great joy! Even something like this is amazingly enough to cheer myself up in this morning.
Thank you thank you thank you thank you!
Just that I woke up with something I did not expected: Right at the moment when I slowly opened my eyes, when the light had just literally shined in my eyes, when my eyes had just took in darkness, to grey to brightness. I said it out in my tongue: "Thank God" ^-^ stretched out my arms and make a stretch, with my mind just started to gain conscious, I said another words: "Thank you for giving me another day. Today is going to be nice." Very faintly, very quietly, I heard myself saying that... O_o WHAT? I cannot believe, still. O_O Yo, I'm not making this up, I think I had finally got something rolling in my "overhauling" goal! ^0^ (Is my gratefulness growing back on me finally?????!!?)
What a great joy! Even something like this is amazingly enough to cheer myself up in this morning.
Thank you thank you thank you thank you!
Shout Out to YOU
Gosh, I know that not many people read this blog! (and I spent too much time talking about my "spiritual life" and I shall talk about my "physical life" more, what do you say?)
Since you are here, you must be my friend (? well except for google search results I suppose)
So if you are reading this, you maybe this (one and only?!) person who either:
1) knows me, just happen to know about my blog (finally, after so long since two months ago?!??! hahhahahhaha)
2) knows me, just happen to know about my blog, want to read something to kill time
3) knows me, just happen to know about my blog, want to read something to kill time, very "8" (meaning like to "spy" on other peoples lives)
4) knows me, just happen to know about my blog, want to read something to kill time, very "8", want to know how I can be so beautiful and wonderful the way I am
5) knows me, just happen to know about my blog, want to read something to kill time, very "8", want to know how I can be so beautiful and wonderful the way I am AND CARE AND LOVE ME
I see you falling under #5, you do care about me if you are reading!
I want to say thanks to you, rather you are close friend, rare seen friend, new friend... thanks for visiting. I'm very grateful and happy, at least... there's you who care about this little me in this world. There's someone, whom I don't know where and who and how, took a few minutes of her/his life time to care about me!!
Thank you! ^^ I love YOU!
Since you are here, you must be my friend (? well except for google search results I suppose)
So if you are reading this, you maybe this (one and only?!) person who either:
1) knows me, just happen to know about my blog (finally, after so long since two months ago?!??! hahhahahhaha)
2) knows me, just happen to know about my blog, want to read something to kill time
3) knows me, just happen to know about my blog, want to read something to kill time, very "8" (meaning like to "spy" on other peoples lives)
4) knows me, just happen to know about my blog, want to read something to kill time, very "8", want to know how I can be so beautiful and wonderful the way I am
5) knows me, just happen to know about my blog, want to read something to kill time, very "8", want to know how I can be so beautiful and wonderful the way I am AND CARE AND LOVE ME
I see you falling under #5, you do care about me if you are reading!
I want to say thanks to you, rather you are close friend, rare seen friend, new friend... thanks for visiting. I'm very grateful and happy, at least... there's you who care about this little me in this world. There's someone, whom I don't know where and who and how, took a few minutes of her/his life time to care about me!!
Thank you! ^^ I love YOU!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
House Party
House party is nice.
You get to see friends.
You get to eat, drink, play games.
Tonight, something rather new too... Meeting these many kids and babies in house party had not been a familiar thing for me because I have not many friends with kids and babies.
Tonight is a new experience, it makes me bit nervous, not because I don't like babies/kids, because I feel like I might not fit in because I am not "on that level". I hope I did fit in hahaha... I do had lots of fun, mostly from watching and make funny faces and jokes with kids/babies.
Thinking of the years to come. Will I ever have a family? A kid? I really wonder. I like kids, I love seeing and playing with them. But I'm really not the person who take initiate to hug or hold a child. Would it be different if it's my own child? I can only guess and imagine now, since I have a long way to go.
Where's my "DH" potential??? Would I ever be a "DW" to anyone??? I see my friends either having a family with a child, married, or soon to be married. I wonder if I am too behind on these. I get sad to think, what if I was a better GF, I could have already be on the same stage.
What can I do now though, the truth is, I failed a "life course". I am telling myself I should enjoy this "me time", which I can do whatever I want now. Care my God, my spirit, myself, my family and friends is what I really really want to do now.
Thank you for the fun and new kind of party.
You get to see friends.
You get to eat, drink, play games.
Tonight, something rather new too... Meeting these many kids and babies in house party had not been a familiar thing for me because I have not many friends with kids and babies.
Tonight is a new experience, it makes me bit nervous, not because I don't like babies/kids, because I feel like I might not fit in because I am not "on that level". I hope I did fit in hahaha... I do had lots of fun, mostly from watching and make funny faces and jokes with kids/babies.
Thinking of the years to come. Will I ever have a family? A kid? I really wonder. I like kids, I love seeing and playing with them. But I'm really not the person who take initiate to hug or hold a child. Would it be different if it's my own child? I can only guess and imagine now, since I have a long way to go.
Where's my "DH" potential??? Would I ever be a "DW" to anyone??? I see my friends either having a family with a child, married, or soon to be married. I wonder if I am too behind on these. I get sad to think, what if I was a better GF, I could have already be on the same stage.
What can I do now though, the truth is, I failed a "life course". I am telling myself I should enjoy this "me time", which I can do whatever I want now. Care my God, my spirit, myself, my family and friends is what I really really want to do now.
Thank you for the fun and new kind of party.
Church Teachings - Feb. 21, 10. First Sunday of Lent
1 And Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan, and was led by the Spirit 2 for forty days in the wilderness, tempted by the devil. And he ate nothing in those days; and when they were ended, he was hungry. 3 The devil said to him, "If you are the Son of God, command this stone to become bread." 4 And Jesus answered him, "It is written, `Man shall not live by bread alone.'" 5 And the devil took him up, and showed him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time, 6 and said to him, "To you I will give all this authority and their glory; for it has been delivered to me, and I give it to whom I will. 7 If you, then, will worship me, it shall all be yours." 8 And Jesus answered him, "It is written, `You shall worship the Lord your God, and him only shall you serve.'" 9 And he took him to Jerusalem, and set him on the pinnacle of the temple, and said to him, "If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down from here; 10 for it is written, `He will give his angels charge of you, to guard you,' 11 and `On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.'" 12 And Jesus answered him, "It is said, `You shall not tempt the Lord your God.'" 13 And when the devil had ended every temptation, he departed from him until an opportune time. - Luke 4:1-13
"Temptation is good.
It brings us closer to God."
God gives us freewill to choose rather to give in or to resist temptation.
No matter what we chose, God loves us.
When we chose to do the right, God recognize and get the glory, we are closer to God.
When we reconciled with Him to ask for forgiveness if we have done the wrong, we are closer to God.
No matter what we chose, God loves us. He gives us freedom, he gives us freewill. He loves us.
I want to be the righteous one from now on.
Last night, I got discouraged because I received three criticisms (not one, not two, but three) from my friends. All about different things I did not do good. I thought I tried soo hard these days to do these, but then people don't seems to see it. "Have I not done enough? Have I not tried hard enough?" I did give in to temptation last week which is true. I regret that and really want to repent my stupid sins which I could have avoid if I only tried harder.. but I just can't.. I fall back to the hole, I lost my power for the past week, I must be sick again???
I got abit upset, not really really sad, but I was discouraged for a bit and it hurt me. But in a way, I know they are telling me about myself, about things that I cam improve on. And I believe that is what God wanted to tell me: "There are these things you want to work on, go for it." I know God had spoken to me through these friends. I know that I got a sign, and I am going to change and improve.
One day, and I know this is very soon, I can truly become this person. This person with things corrected into a better way. I want to be better, I don't like how I was, I don't like what I did, like I said before in the last post, I want to throw away my old self. I don't want to throw away my confidence and willingness that I finally build up though, because I need that, and on top, I'm building up my faith, my trust, and my love. I know one day, and it might be very soon or later, people, especially God will recognized and agreed.
give me courage and strength please!
"Temptation is good.
It brings us closer to God."
God gives us freewill to choose rather to give in or to resist temptation.
No matter what we chose, God loves us.
When we chose to do the right, God recognize and get the glory, we are closer to God.
When we reconciled with Him to ask for forgiveness if we have done the wrong, we are closer to God.
No matter what we chose, God loves us. He gives us freedom, he gives us freewill. He loves us.
I want to be the righteous one from now on.
Last night, I got discouraged because I received three criticisms (not one, not two, but three) from my friends. All about different things I did not do good. I thought I tried soo hard these days to do these, but then people don't seems to see it. "Have I not done enough? Have I not tried hard enough?" I did give in to temptation last week which is true. I regret that and really want to repent my stupid sins which I could have avoid if I only tried harder.. but I just can't.. I fall back to the hole, I lost my power for the past week, I must be sick again???
I got abit upset, not really really sad, but I was discouraged for a bit and it hurt me. But in a way, I know they are telling me about myself, about things that I cam improve on. And I believe that is what God wanted to tell me: "There are these things you want to work on, go for it." I know God had spoken to me through these friends. I know that I got a sign, and I am going to change and improve.
One day, and I know this is very soon, I can truly become this person. This person with things corrected into a better way. I want to be better, I don't like how I was, I don't like what I did, like I said before in the last post, I want to throw away my old self. I don't want to throw away my confidence and willingness that I finally build up though, because I need that, and on top, I'm building up my faith, my trust, and my love. I know one day, and it might be very soon or later, people, especially God will recognized and agreed.
give me courage and strength please!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
New Wine into New Wineskins
To live with the old mind set may not necessary an old thing. Like for instance, we have traditions that we follow in our everyday lives, we follow a set of "rules" that we grew on. Who's to judge if it' good or bad? No one, but if the old does not applicable anymore, there's simply no point of keep doing things the wrong way. Afterall, the world evolves and everyday is a different day.
For example, I learned that it is impossible to stay as the same as when I was a kid, you grew up each day, you have more responsibility, more task. Doesn't necessary means less fun though (keep in mind), because different stages of life gives you different lessons. You just have to learn and grow from it.
Change is good, not only it is good, it is needed, staying static can possibly destroy you and do you no good. Know that things are different every time you look at it, every time you do it, the power to make good changes will always be here, you just have to go for it (power comes from either God, or whatever spirit you believe in).
You need new wine in new wineskins!
"No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment. If he does, the new piece will pull away from the old, making the tear worse. And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, he pours new wine into new wineskins." - Mark 2:21-22
Wish me luck!! ^^ I want to become this new wineskins with new wine in it!!! I know I can with God strengthening me!
For example, I learned that it is impossible to stay as the same as when I was a kid, you grew up each day, you have more responsibility, more task. Doesn't necessary means less fun though (keep in mind), because different stages of life gives you different lessons. You just have to learn and grow from it.
Change is good, not only it is good, it is needed, staying static can possibly destroy you and do you no good. Know that things are different every time you look at it, every time you do it, the power to make good changes will always be here, you just have to go for it (power comes from either God, or whatever spirit you believe in).
You need new wine in new wineskins!
"No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment. If he does, the new piece will pull away from the old, making the tear worse. And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, he pours new wine into new wineskins." - Mark 2:21-22
Wish me luck!! ^^ I want to become this new wineskins with new wine in it!!! I know I can with God strengthening me!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Difficult Joy
Have you been on those newer TTC bus lately? Today I just noticed how there are 4 surveillance cameras on the ceiling! I have never notice that many. By having all these cameras, it shows that that particular public space is closely watched. However, it is ironic to see that the LCD monitor for showing the destination stops are not working well on this bus I took today - it only showed half of the name of the street and it's kind of sux that the first half of the street name does not shown! (only the "avenue" part shown which makes it so useless because that's not the main point!). So being on a bus like this is like going to an unknown destination, but while the cameras closely watch us, we are safe and sound. Kind of a weird feeling.
Maybe because I'm so occupied by the idea of God and God's will at the moment, I see this as a sign that God's showing me. Related to the book I had just finished called "Pure Joy" by R.T. Kendall about getting pure joy in our life through spiritual gratification.
The first kind of joy described is something the author called "joy by faith".
During difficult trials in life, we probably all feel the opposite of joy, but if we are to "consider" it pure joy by doing it by faith: "trusting God without the evidence that we have got it right. It is imputing value to the present trial without proof that it will turn out well. By faith we know it will."
I find it very difficult, because for all the trials I'm going through, not one, but a few of them all together (because I have never overcome them before so it accumulated), I am trying very hard to reach this "difficult joy" I called it. After giving it more thoughts, now I realized it is not too hard to do that!!
Going back to the bus cameras and the monitor that only half of it works, I can see how God's work and plan is working --- He watches each of us very close, every one, every corners and every move are being seen. But on the journey to the goodness that He prepared for us, He does not show us exactly where that will be. --- We only have to trust him fully, enjoy the ride!
Haha, I must have sound crazy, but I took this idea in fully now that I want to regain my long lost faith in Him, our Father. I'm so glad these small things I see in everyday comes together as lessons that I am learning from my reading.
I now know that I just have to keep going and don't worry! Eventually, there will be the things He prepared for me! I just know it will!
Maybe because I'm so occupied by the idea of God and God's will at the moment, I see this as a sign that God's showing me. Related to the book I had just finished called "Pure Joy" by R.T. Kendall about getting pure joy in our life through spiritual gratification.
The first kind of joy described is something the author called "joy by faith".
During difficult trials in life, we probably all feel the opposite of joy, but if we are to "consider" it pure joy by doing it by faith: "trusting God without the evidence that we have got it right. It is imputing value to the present trial without proof that it will turn out well. By faith we know it will."
I find it very difficult, because for all the trials I'm going through, not one, but a few of them all together (because I have never overcome them before so it accumulated), I am trying very hard to reach this "difficult joy" I called it. After giving it more thoughts, now I realized it is not too hard to do that!!
Going back to the bus cameras and the monitor that only half of it works, I can see how God's work and plan is working --- He watches each of us very close, every one, every corners and every move are being seen. But on the journey to the goodness that He prepared for us, He does not show us exactly where that will be. --- We only have to trust him fully, enjoy the ride!
Haha, I must have sound crazy, but I took this idea in fully now that I want to regain my long lost faith in Him, our Father. I'm so glad these small things I see in everyday comes together as lessons that I am learning from my reading.
I now know that I just have to keep going and don't worry! Eventually, there will be the things He prepared for me! I just know it will!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Throw Away Myself
Gosh, I got this problem every now and then to think in a negative mad way. Like in the last blog entry, again, I got suck back to the hole.
I want to throw away everything, scratch everything, ripped everything - that pull me down.
Including every bit of my mad self, every bit of the happy or unhappy past.
AND start new!! Start on a blank slate, start a new me for real.
That's it. God, help, take way my hatred, jealousy, and grief for my past please! I'm being eaten by this hatred again! I got better, but it's still not enough, please help me, I'm weak!
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" - 1 Corinthians 12:9
"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses... For when I am weak, then I am strong" - 2 Corinthians 12:10
I want to throw away everything, scratch everything, ripped everything - that pull me down.
Including every bit of my mad self, every bit of the happy or unhappy past.
AND start new!! Start on a blank slate, start a new me for real.
That's it. God, help, take way my hatred, jealousy, and grief for my past please! I'm being eaten by this hatred again! I got better, but it's still not enough, please help me, I'm weak!
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" - 1 Corinthians 12:9
"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses... For when I am weak, then I am strong" - 2 Corinthians 12:10
Who's my Real Best Friend?
"A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out." -Grace Pulpit
"A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are half-cracked."
"Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand." -Emily Kimbrough
"A friend accepts us as we are yet helps us to be what we should."
"You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job." -Laurence J. Peter
"The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart."
"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." -Henri Nouwen
"A true friend unbosoms freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably." -William Penn
"Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow."
"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away." -Dinah Craik
"I felt it shelter to speak to you." -Emily Dickinson
“When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there”
“A friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself.” -Jim Morrison
“Friends are angels who lift our feet when our own wings have trouble remembering how to fly.”
“The only service a friend can really render is to keep your courage by holding up to you a mirror in which you can see a noble image of yourself” -George Bernard Shaw
“Search not for a friend in time of need, for a true friend shall find thee.”
“I would prefer as friend a good man ignorant than one more clever who is evil too.”
"Best friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway."
"When you look around and your world is crumbling or when you think no one loves you, your best friend is the one to run to you."
"When you are sad anyone can tell you it’s gonna be okay, but a true friend will mean it"
"A true friend will be you candle when it’s dark, your hope when it’s gone, and take your pain when it hurts"
At least now when I think very very hard, when I open my eyes so wide to look at all the past...
I know who is not. That person was never there for me truly, we were never connected, we were never even friends, we were strangers. Didn't accept me, didn't bother knowing me, didn't appreciate me, didn't care about me, didn't love me, didn't even want to talk to me. We did all the things best friends do, but we just weren't ones. Only there when we were happy, and not when we had problems and sad. What kind of "best friends" do that? And that's when I got mad and fuck everything up because I was so depressed with this false knowledge, I was all by myself the whole time and I was the only one that cares. At the end, it shows that I was right, you just don't care about us enough to solve things together anyway. and you can have your other "best friends" with you there now in your new life. I should have known better, why the hell did I trust our "past" and thought we will be best friends forever in our lives and can go through tough times together forever? I should be happy that I'm awake! For I found out I have a false best friend for way too long.
We Never were best friends, and probably never will be.
Good to know!
Who's my real best friends? God! and a few of my friends that I overlooked before, they are here for me, not only happy times!
"A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are half-cracked."
"Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand." -Emily Kimbrough
"A friend accepts us as we are yet helps us to be what we should."
"You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job." -Laurence J. Peter
"The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart."
"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." -Henri Nouwen
"A true friend unbosoms freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably." -William Penn
"Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow."
"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away." -Dinah Craik
"I felt it shelter to speak to you." -Emily Dickinson
“When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there”
“A friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself.” -Jim Morrison
“Friends are angels who lift our feet when our own wings have trouble remembering how to fly.”
“The only service a friend can really render is to keep your courage by holding up to you a mirror in which you can see a noble image of yourself” -George Bernard Shaw
“Search not for a friend in time of need, for a true friend shall find thee.”
“I would prefer as friend a good man ignorant than one more clever who is evil too.”
"Best friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway."
"When you look around and your world is crumbling or when you think no one loves you, your best friend is the one to run to you."
"When you are sad anyone can tell you it’s gonna be okay, but a true friend will mean it"
"A true friend will be you candle when it’s dark, your hope when it’s gone, and take your pain when it hurts"
At least now when I think very very hard, when I open my eyes so wide to look at all the past...
I know who is not. That person was never there for me truly, we were never connected, we were never even friends, we were strangers. Didn't accept me, didn't bother knowing me, didn't appreciate me, didn't care about me, didn't love me, didn't even want to talk to me. We did all the things best friends do, but we just weren't ones. Only there when we were happy, and not when we had problems and sad. What kind of "best friends" do that? And that's when I got mad and fuck everything up because I was so depressed with this false knowledge, I was all by myself the whole time and I was the only one that cares. At the end, it shows that I was right, you just don't care about us enough to solve things together anyway. and you can have your other "best friends" with you there now in your new life. I should have known better, why the hell did I trust our "past" and thought we will be best friends forever in our lives and can go through tough times together forever? I should be happy that I'm awake! For I found out I have a false best friend for way too long.
We Never were best friends, and probably never will be.
Good to know!
Who's my real best friends? God! and a few of my friends that I overlooked before, they are here for me, not only happy times!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Analogy: Foundation
The Toyota recalls have been on going for a few months now, brakes problem for Prius and hybrids, accelerator pedal problems for new models, SUVs and pickup trucks, and now today it announced the steering problems in Corolla.
Toyota has been doing so great all these years and finally reached the best selling cars, but all of the sudden, because of technical problems like this it's creditability crashes.
All of these problems seem to me very basics, yet, a big car company like this failed to deliver the basic functionality of a safe car. I realized how crucial it is for anyone to be sure to meet the basics by building things out of solid cautious.
Every little things count, even a nut and bolt in a machine, all the small parts added up to be a bigger machine, and from the machine we build moving cars. If done correctly, such basic created a stable foundation to make anything last. If the foundation and the small or big parts of it were built solidly, no trials or test can break it, and it would last for a long time! (Like how my family Camry which is now the 13th year and it has never have things that require big fix!)
The Bible uses this construction analogy to show us how we ought to live. Each believer is part of God's church, contributing our talents and efforts to the kingdom of God. But the work we do must be done with integrity and commitment, so that it will survive the "fire" of suffering and trials. If the foundation we build is solid, it will support generations of believers who come after us! This passage also shows us how relationships between you and God and also you and others around you work. For every kind of relationship, it has to be build upon trust and faith for it to last and grow.
"By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds. 11For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, 13his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. 14If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. 15If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames." - 1 Corinthians 3:10-15
I too, am finally starting to rebuild my foundation, which had "burned and shattered" because it was never built properly. At the loss right now, I am this escapee, I can see that God is leading my way to the escape, I can see that God is helping me and giving me these materials (say Bible and books) to build my foundation of faith.
I have confident that I can do this, when I stay on track and keep building it. One day (and I can almost certain to say - very soon), I'm going to have this foundation that can last any flames!! ^_^
Dear God, please give me strength so my relationship with God and me with my family and friends can be rebuild (since I had reluctant the important of real truthful relationships for many years now..). And may God please help me to build this foundation of faith to prepare me for my love relationship!
Toyota has been doing so great all these years and finally reached the best selling cars, but all of the sudden, because of technical problems like this it's creditability crashes.
All of these problems seem to me very basics, yet, a big car company like this failed to deliver the basic functionality of a safe car. I realized how crucial it is for anyone to be sure to meet the basics by building things out of solid cautious.
Every little things count, even a nut and bolt in a machine, all the small parts added up to be a bigger machine, and from the machine we build moving cars. If done correctly, such basic created a stable foundation to make anything last. If the foundation and the small or big parts of it were built solidly, no trials or test can break it, and it would last for a long time! (Like how my family Camry which is now the 13th year and it has never have things that require big fix!)
The Bible uses this construction analogy to show us how we ought to live. Each believer is part of God's church, contributing our talents and efforts to the kingdom of God. But the work we do must be done with integrity and commitment, so that it will survive the "fire" of suffering and trials. If the foundation we build is solid, it will support generations of believers who come after us! This passage also shows us how relationships between you and God and also you and others around you work. For every kind of relationship, it has to be build upon trust and faith for it to last and grow.
"By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds. 11For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, 13his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. 14If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. 15If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames." - 1 Corinthians 3:10-15
I too, am finally starting to rebuild my foundation, which had "burned and shattered" because it was never built properly. At the loss right now, I am this escapee, I can see that God is leading my way to the escape, I can see that God is helping me and giving me these materials (say Bible and books) to build my foundation of faith.
I have confident that I can do this, when I stay on track and keep building it. One day (and I can almost certain to say - very soon), I'm going to have this foundation that can last any flames!! ^_^
Dear God, please give me strength so my relationship with God and me with my family and friends can be rebuild (since I had reluctant the important of real truthful relationships for many years now..). And may God please help me to build this foundation of faith to prepare me for my love relationship!
Never too Late, Never too Early, But Always just on Time
Never too little, never too much.
Never too easy, never too tough.
God knows how much we can bear, and he will make a way of escape.
He WILL step in.
Never too late, never too early.
I'm now having this greatest opportunity to know Him better, closer, more. He is now leading my way to escape this mess.
I have to be patience. I know. I have to rejoice for all of these that's happening, in fact! ^^b
"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have down the will of God, you will receive what he had promised. For in just a very little while, "He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith." - Hebrews 12:35-38
Never too easy, never too tough.
God knows how much we can bear, and he will make a way of escape.
He WILL step in.
Never too late, never too early.
I'm now having this greatest opportunity to know Him better, closer, more. He is now leading my way to escape this mess.
I have to be patience. I know. I have to rejoice for all of these that's happening, in fact! ^^b
"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have down the will of God, you will receive what he had promised. For in just a very little while, "He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith." - Hebrews 12:35-38
灰的意義
聖灰瞻禮
若望保祿二世講解聖灰禮儀的意義
教宗在2000年3月8日星期三聖灰禮儀日講解有關聖灰瞻禮和四旬期的意義。
教宗說：「聖灰禮儀這一天在頭上撒聖灰並不是要給教友製造悲觀消極、聽天由命的氣氛，而是要邀請大家不要受到物質世界的約束，因為物質世界固然有它的價值，畢竟是要消失的。只有在天主內，人才能重新完全找到自己，並發現自己存在的最後意義」。
以聖灰禮儀開啟的封齋期邀請人悔改皈依，因此教宗強調：「聖門為眾人敞 開著，誰知道自己被罪過所壓迫，也承認自己毫無功德可言，就請進入聖門 吧！誰覺得自己虛無得像灰塵，就請進入聖門吧！ 虛弱、缺乏信心的人請從虛弱、缺乏信心的人請從 基督的心中汲取新的活力吧！ 」。
教宗提醒聖伯多祿廣場的各國信友：「守齋刻苦不僅僅是外表的規矩或外在 的禮節行為，更是感到需要改變生活的有力標記；守齋刻苦要求人放棄合理 的物質享受，使內心獲得更多的自由，以便更容易聆聽天主的聖訓，也更能 夠慷慨地幫助有需要的人」。
四旬期的精神是：
人順應天主的慈愛，在生活中，以聖言、祈禱、犧牲及善功潔淨心靈，好能更深的皈依基督。 是故，領聖灰並不是我們得救的必要條件，我們該重新審訂及研究這「象徵」的價值。原來隱藏於四旬期內的聖洗的意義——「棄舊迎新，跨越死亡到達永生的意義」才最重要，我們該把這份精神帶引出來這點對於那些擁有大量慕道者的堂區尤為重要。
Quoted from http://catholic-dlc.org.hk/s02ash.htm
The priest often chooses to say as he traces the sign of the cross with ashes on the penitent's forehead: “Turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel.”
What Ash Wednesday is about is some pretty rare reflection. It's the day when many Christians—not just Catholics—are encouraged to pause and examine their lives; to think about how their actions, or inactions, have affected themselves and others; to look clearly at the path they're pursuing and begin a 40-day process of figuring how they should re-draw that map.
Reflection is a good thing, as we're often so caught up in the day-to-day routines of our lives that we seldom consider whether our habitual behaviors should change. Ash Wednesday, and the 40 days of Lent that follow, give us an opportunity to pause and rethink those behaviors. In a hectic, materialistic world that's often telling us what we should want out of life, that's a wonderful thing.
Unlike receiving Communion, people can receive ashes regardless of the state of their souls. They don't have to go to confession first. Yet for many people who, for whatever reason, aren't regular Mass-goers, the sense of being marked with ashes can feel even stronger than receiving Communion. The reception of ashes is not a sacrament, but the sacramental sense of it is powerful. And for those who haven't been to Mass for a while, that sense is magnified.
Quoted from Matt Nannery's Description of Ash Wednesday
若望保祿二世講解聖灰禮儀的意義
教宗在2000年3月8日星期三聖灰禮儀日講解有關聖灰瞻禮和四旬期的意義。
教宗說：「聖灰禮儀這一天在頭上撒聖灰並不是要給教友製造悲觀消極、聽天由命的氣氛，而是要邀請大家不要受到物質世界的約束，因為物質世界固然有它的價值，畢竟是要消失的。只有在天主內，人才能重新完全找到自己，並發現自己存在的最後意義」。
以聖灰禮儀開啟的封齋期邀請人悔改皈依，因此教宗強調：「聖門為眾人敞 開著，誰知道自己被罪過所壓迫，也承認自己毫無功德可言，就請進入聖門 吧！誰覺得自己虛無得像灰塵，就請進入聖門吧！ 虛弱、缺乏信心的人請從虛弱、缺乏信心的人請從 基督的心中汲取新的活力吧！ 」。
教宗提醒聖伯多祿廣場的各國信友：「守齋刻苦不僅僅是外表的規矩或外在 的禮節行為，更是感到需要改變生活的有力標記；守齋刻苦要求人放棄合理 的物質享受，使內心獲得更多的自由，以便更容易聆聽天主的聖訓，也更能 夠慷慨地幫助有需要的人」。
四旬期的精神是：
人順應天主的慈愛，在生活中，以聖言、祈禱、犧牲及善功潔淨心靈，好能更深的皈依基督。 是故，領聖灰並不是我們得救的必要條件，我們該重新審訂及研究這「象徵」的價值。原來隱藏於四旬期內的聖洗的意義——「棄舊迎新，跨越死亡到達永生的意義」才最重要，我們該把這份精神帶引出來這點對於那些擁有大量慕道者的堂區尤為重要。
Quoted from http://catholic-dlc.org.hk/s02ash.htm
The priest often chooses to say as he traces the sign of the cross with ashes on the penitent's forehead: “Turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel.”
What Ash Wednesday is about is some pretty rare reflection. It's the day when many Christians—not just Catholics—are encouraged to pause and examine their lives; to think about how their actions, or inactions, have affected themselves and others; to look clearly at the path they're pursuing and begin a 40-day process of figuring how they should re-draw that map.
Reflection is a good thing, as we're often so caught up in the day-to-day routines of our lives that we seldom consider whether our habitual behaviors should change. Ash Wednesday, and the 40 days of Lent that follow, give us an opportunity to pause and rethink those behaviors. In a hectic, materialistic world that's often telling us what we should want out of life, that's a wonderful thing.
Unlike receiving Communion, people can receive ashes regardless of the state of their souls. They don't have to go to confession first. Yet for many people who, for whatever reason, aren't regular Mass-goers, the sense of being marked with ashes can feel even stronger than receiving Communion. The reception of ashes is not a sacrament, but the sacramental sense of it is powerful. And for those who haven't been to Mass for a while, that sense is magnified.
Quoted from Matt Nannery's Description of Ash Wednesday
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Project Overhaul - Self Evaluation
Since I'm in the process of overhauling myself (which is going pretty well, just so you know :), I realize that I should look into myself more closely to see what else I can learn about myself and improve it.
"Simple", I'm too simple. I get carry away easily, in good or bad things. If I'm into it, I'm into it, crazily and want the most if not all out of it.
"Trustful", I trust whatever you say to me, I always get trick easily. I express my feelings freely, again, good or bad, but I have hard time expressing my thoughts, please be gentle and tolerance with me.
"Needy" Show me you want or need me there, don't ignore me. I like to share, everything, again, it can be good or bad things. Treat me with all you have and you shall have all of me. Like me for who I am, for I like you for who you are.
"Indecisive" I don't make decisions, I discuss and compromise, I expect you to do that with me together. I am brave and bold, but I don't necessary take all the first steps, sometimes I tend to wait for you to show me your care. I have hard time even deciding what to eat from a menu, well I got better at that now.
"Denial" I get lazy or run away from doing things at times, most likely is because I am scare to take actions and feel not enough confident.
"Disrespectful" I regret for being uncontrollable and angry at times, I really don't mean it, it's mostly my inner feelings that I can't seems to take full control yet.
"Selfish" I learned that everything should never be about me, it's about each one of us. I realize I'm so selfish that I think of myself first. I used to think of others before myself, I have to bring mental state that back somehow.
"Forgetful" I forget a lot of things, but I learned that I need to remember more. I have hard time learning things. I forget. I need to remember more for sure.
"Guesser" I take times to think of you a lot, I do, in good ways. About things that you say, things you do. I do want to make everyone happy, it's probably because I want myself to be happy too and be treated the same way.
"Anxious" High strung, for things that I care a lot, I get very very anxious, I want things to be perfect, if not I get emotional and hate it for it not being good enough.
Thanks for all the support! I look forward to show you my new lala!
"Simple", I'm too simple. I get carry away easily, in good or bad things. If I'm into it, I'm into it, crazily and want the most if not all out of it.
"Trustful", I trust whatever you say to me, I always get trick easily. I express my feelings freely, again, good or bad, but I have hard time expressing my thoughts, please be gentle and tolerance with me.
"Needy" Show me you want or need me there, don't ignore me. I like to share, everything, again, it can be good or bad things. Treat me with all you have and you shall have all of me. Like me for who I am, for I like you for who you are.
"Indecisive" I don't make decisions, I discuss and compromise, I expect you to do that with me together. I am brave and bold, but I don't necessary take all the first steps, sometimes I tend to wait for you to show me your care. I have hard time even deciding what to eat from a menu, well I got better at that now.
"Denial" I get lazy or run away from doing things at times, most likely is because I am scare to take actions and feel not enough confident.
"Disrespectful" I regret for being uncontrollable and angry at times, I really don't mean it, it's mostly my inner feelings that I can't seems to take full control yet.
"Selfish" I learned that everything should never be about me, it's about each one of us. I realize I'm so selfish that I think of myself first. I used to think of others before myself, I have to bring mental state that back somehow.
"Forgetful" I forget a lot of things, but I learned that I need to remember more. I have hard time learning things. I forget. I need to remember more for sure.
"Guesser" I take times to think of you a lot, I do, in good ways. About things that you say, things you do. I do want to make everyone happy, it's probably because I want myself to be happy too and be treated the same way.
"Anxious" High strung, for things that I care a lot, I get very very anxious, I want things to be perfect, if not I get emotional and hate it for it not being good enough.
Thanks for all the support! I look forward to show you my new lala!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Bible Answers Us: Injustice & Righteousness.
Question: If there is God, where's justice?
"How long, O Lord? Will you forget me for ever? How long will you hide your face from me?" - Psalm 13:1
"Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong?" - Habakkuk 1:3
Answer:
"For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end
and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it will certainly come and will not delay." - Habakkuk 2:3
"See, the Lord's hand is not too short to save,
nor his ear too dull to hear.
Rather, your iniquities have been barriers
between you and your God,
and your sins have hidden his face
from you so that he does not hear.
For your hands are defiled with blood,
and your fingers with iniquity;
your lips have spoken lies,
your tongue mutters wickedness." - Isaiah 59:1-3
"The way of peace they do not know,
and there is no justice in their paths.
Their roads they have made crooked;
no one who walks in them knows peace.
Therefore justice is far from us,
and righteousness does not reach us;
we wait for light, and lo! there is darness;
and for brightness, but we walk in gloom." - Isaiah 59:8-9
"transgressing, and dening the Lord,
and turning away from following our God,
talking oppression and revolt,
conceiving lying words and uttering them from the heart.
Justice is turned back,
and righteousness stands at a distance;
for truth stumbles in the public square.
and uprightness cannot enter.
Truth is lacking,
and whoever turns from evil is despoiled." - Isaiah 59:13-15
"How long, O Lord? Will you forget me for ever? How long will you hide your face from me?" - Psalm 13:1
"Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong?" - Habakkuk 1:3
Answer:
"For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end
and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it will certainly come and will not delay." - Habakkuk 2:3
"See, the Lord's hand is not too short to save,
nor his ear too dull to hear.
Rather, your iniquities have been barriers
between you and your God,
and your sins have hidden his face
from you so that he does not hear.
For your hands are defiled with blood,
and your fingers with iniquity;
your lips have spoken lies,
your tongue mutters wickedness." - Isaiah 59:1-3
"The way of peace they do not know,
and there is no justice in their paths.
Their roads they have made crooked;
no one who walks in them knows peace.
Therefore justice is far from us,
and righteousness does not reach us;
we wait for light, and lo! there is darness;
and for brightness, but we walk in gloom." - Isaiah 59:8-9
"transgressing, and dening the Lord,
and turning away from following our God,
talking oppression and revolt,
conceiving lying words and uttering them from the heart.
Justice is turned back,
and righteousness stands at a distance;
for truth stumbles in the public square.
and uprightness cannot enter.
Truth is lacking,
and whoever turns from evil is despoiled." - Isaiah 59:13-15
Sunday, February 14, 2010
濃情新年新人節
農曆新年, 情人節, 他們有什麼共同點？
是愛。 家庭，朋友，愛人的愛。
有什麼時候比這兩個節日更為合適想你愛的人？
今年，我不僅提醒自己所有人對我的愛和關懷，我也提醒自己所有遺忘了的愛心和關懷，因為我渴望忘了多年的愛, 今年, 我終於發現我祗是一直錯過。我現在學會愛，不要仇恨。我現在學會關心，不要要求。我需要長大，我已經不再是一個嬰兒了。
我發現了要愛, 才會獲得渴望的愛.
會有一天，我終於可以在情人節和農曆新年，和我真的愛和真的愛我的人渡過？ 今年, 我發現，我今生其實從來沒有真正愛過人，我也其實從來沒有真正被人愛過。 愛是多麼難的事情。我希望你今年有一個真正的"濃情節"! 因為你懂得真正的愛! 而我祈望我今年過一個"濃情新年新人節", 讓我"在這個新年重新做一個懂得濃厚人情味的人"!
是愛。 家庭，朋友，愛人的愛。
有什麼時候比這兩個節日更為合適想你愛的人？
今年，我不僅提醒自己所有人對我的愛和關懷，我也提醒自己所有遺忘了的愛心和關懷，因為我渴望忘了多年的愛, 今年, 我終於發現我祗是一直錯過。我現在學會愛，不要仇恨。我現在學會關心，不要要求。我需要長大，我已經不再是一個嬰兒了。
我發現了要愛, 才會獲得渴望的愛.
會有一天，我終於可以在情人節和農曆新年，和我真的愛和真的愛我的人渡過？ 今年, 我發現，我今生其實從來沒有真正愛過人，我也其實從來沒有真正被人愛過。 愛是多麼難的事情。我希望你今年有一個真正的"濃情節"! 因為你懂得真正的愛! 而我祈望我今年過一個"濃情新年新人節", 讓我"在這個新年重新做一個懂得濃厚人情味的人"!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Overcoming Fear Factor
"Fear is the most disintegrating enemy of human personality. Worry is the most subtle and destructive of all human diseases." - Norman Vincent Peale "The Power of Positive Thinking"
I am curing this "disease" right now, it has devastated me in recent years, I felt like I have a half of myself dead. Even my real body condition was screwed. I still have this blood check which I did not go in mid December, I'm a bit worry, what if I really got that incurable disease my doctor told me about? I think I should really go for the check but I'm scare, I had been quite scare for months about that. God, help me and give me the courage?
Worry and Fear, I really don't like you, because you took away so much important thing of mine. From now on, I'm going to be fearless, I will because I and God said so.
"If God be for us, who can be against us?" - Romans 8:31
I am curing this "disease" right now, it has devastated me in recent years, I felt like I have a half of myself dead. Even my real body condition was screwed. I still have this blood check which I did not go in mid December, I'm a bit worry, what if I really got that incurable disease my doctor told me about? I think I should really go for the check but I'm scare, I had been quite scare for months about that. God, help me and give me the courage?
Worry and Fear, I really don't like you, because you took away so much important thing of mine. From now on, I'm going to be fearless, I will because I and God said so.
"If God be for us, who can be against us?" - Romans 8:31
Friday, February 12, 2010
福或禍也從口出
有很多時候，我會說一些我不應該說的話。在零點零零零一毫秒後，我就後悔我關上嘴不夠快. 我是不考慮全方位的"孩子", 我知道不應這樣做的, 但我似乎缺乏控制能力. 我高興的時候，我很開心，當我瘋狂生氣的時候, 我很生氣. 現在我有我的教訓，真正傷心的教訓 - 任何人都沒有責任承受我的態度和感覺. 任何朋友，家人，在沒有事先告訴我的前提下他們隨時可以走開。我被"解僱"了, 沒有我可以彌補的，唯一做的是收拾行李離開. 我什至不能回頭望一眼，說一聲。 因為我這個人被"即時解僱"了, 他們將即時僱用別人。 誠實的感覺可以使您成功或將您摧毀, 我自我的沉痛的教訓學到. 我學到永遠永遠不要在不好的情緒下說話，我學到，永遠永遠, 所有誠實的壞感覺，只有一個地方，我可以棄置 - 天主的垃圾桶. 任何人，任何地方也不能棄置，即使是你最信賴的人, 因為越堆積任何壞感覺, 您祗會越建造一個死實實漆黑黑的死胡同在你前面，您和您相信那最理解你的人也不能看到對方. 那時，沒有一樣東西你可以做, 你只能做的是往回走, 永遠和這個人分隔在兩個地方, 永遠不交叉.
改變我不快樂的感覺, 我只能改變我的心為快樂。哪裡可以得到快樂幸福？我開始發現在哪裡。會不會有一天我能找到一個人永遠跟我一起走？ 走在死胡同也和我一起勇敢走出來? 為什麼沒有一個人跟我可以一起走？ 有沒有人當我情緒生病, 當我在最需要的時候不留下我, 放棄我？我的心是真的病了，就像感冒發燒一樣, 為什麼這個我最信賴的人離開我？
我現在只能想到的是天主. 我學到了不要充分信任任何人，我學到了不要高估任何事情和任何人, 除非你真的肯定，我以為我肯定, 最終這個永遠不應該有的想法將我摧毀. 現在我只會肯定永不放棄我的天主 ! 請帶走我的怨恨, 天主 ! 我只是想愛和快樂!
祝您我好運!
改變我不快樂的感覺, 我只能改變我的心為快樂。哪裡可以得到快樂幸福？我開始發現在哪裡。會不會有一天我能找到一個人永遠跟我一起走？ 走在死胡同也和我一起勇敢走出來? 為什麼沒有一個人跟我可以一起走？ 有沒有人當我情緒生病, 當我在最需要的時候不留下我, 放棄我？我的心是真的病了，就像感冒發燒一樣, 為什麼這個我最信賴的人離開我？
我現在只能想到的是天主. 我學到了不要充分信任任何人，我學到了不要高估任何事情和任何人, 除非你真的肯定，我以為我肯定, 最終這個永遠不應該有的想法將我摧毀. 現在我只會肯定永不放棄我的天主 ! 請帶走我的怨恨, 天主 ! 我只是想愛和快樂!
祝您我好運!
Rejoice in Hardships
Rejoice in the Lord
by Ron Hamilton
God never moves without purpose or plan
When trying His servant and molding a man.
Give thanks to the LORD though your testing seems long;
In darkness He giveth a song.
I could not see through the shadows ahead;
So I looked at the cross of my Savior instead.
I bowed to the will of the Master that day;
Then peace came and tears fled away.
Now I can see testing comes from above;
God strengthens His children and purges in love.
My Father knows best, and I trust in His care;
Through purging more fruit I will bear.
O Rejoice in the LORD
He makes no mistake,
He knoweth the end of each path that I take,
For when I am tried
And purified,
I shall come forth as gold.
by Ron Hamilton
God never moves without purpose or plan
When trying His servant and molding a man.
Give thanks to the LORD though your testing seems long;
In darkness He giveth a song.
I could not see through the shadows ahead;
So I looked at the cross of my Savior instead.
I bowed to the will of the Master that day;
Then peace came and tears fled away.
Now I can see testing comes from above;
God strengthens His children and purges in love.
My Father knows best, and I trust in His care;
Through purging more fruit I will bear.
O Rejoice in the LORD
He makes no mistake,
He knoweth the end of each path that I take,
For when I am tried
And purified,
I shall come forth as gold.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
你有給你的靈魂食物嗎?
在我上學的日子, 雖然我還沒有完全掌握"不趕不忙"的藝術, 但我已經開始戒掉"最後一分鐘"的習慣 ("Last minute" Habit ^. ^v)。 吃過輕便的早餐，把東西, 一些零食和電腦放入我的袋中... 檢查我有沒有電話，有沒有鑰匙, 有沒有穿襪子... ^u^ 還有一個非常重要的！ 最近, 出門前我一定檢查的是我有沒有帶給我在公車之上讀的書。閱讀成為我一天最最最期待, 最最最高興的部分，我好想好想一整天也讀！(但我不能，我會看累, 試過睡著了！因為讀書是如此放鬆和快樂)
我真的非常期待完成這一本一本令我如此快樂的書...也許你覺得我太怪，我突然地迷上這些教人快樂，教人積極，教導人們宗教的悶書! @ . @ 也許我心中是個書呆子? 我不知道，哈哈! ^0^ 但我可以說的是這些書讓我感到安全，每一頁每個章節給了我我從來不知道有可能成真的生活態度, 在我現在的困難中它給我沒有人給過我積極的希望和鼓勵。不是說我從來沒有任何人鼓勵我，有很多朋友們，男朋友們和輔導員給過我他們的鼓勵, 但書本的確有非常非常大的作用，它的力量是遠遠超過其他人做到的, 它就像一個專業和非專業人士的差異！試想像，這就像是你讀數學和物理，用嘴巴教，或用教科書教，哪一個是更有效？我會選擇教科書, 因為它有所有細節，它不只是說。我以前常想“講就易!! 你怎麼知道我的處境?”, 所以無論這些關心我的人告訴我什麼，從來沒有進入我的心，因為他們的表示方式, 沒有被我接受。但在這些書，他們指出所有我故有的想法和懷疑，他們已經知道我有這種心態, 周到地指出, 分析, 提出例子, 給我提出不同的解決辦法！
"我想快樂"，這就是我唯一一樣我一直想要的，我的生命中, 過去 二十多年來沒有真正的做到過。這是命運? 我要在此極度悲憂, 臨界崩潰的情況下，才會終於讀這些書。如果沒有這段深沉的藍色時期，我不認為我會像現在這樣不僅讀這些書, 還要充滿希望, 快樂地讀這些書。^ ^
我答應自己，我會繼續讀書, 直到我成為我想做的"真正快樂人"！這是非常真的: “書籍是靈魂的食物”, 書讓你更新你的頭腦和釋放更多的創意。我已經覺得在我的精神層面有這樣的變化在發生中，真的非常令我激動, 感謝我現在發生的每件事，這些事祇讓我變更強！ ^v^
我真的非常期待完成這一本一本令我如此快樂的書...也許你覺得我太怪，我突然地迷上這些教人快樂，教人積極，教導人們宗教的悶書! @ . @ 也許我心中是個書呆子? 我不知道，哈哈! ^0^ 但我可以說的是這些書讓我感到安全，每一頁每個章節給了我我從來不知道有可能成真的生活態度, 在我現在的困難中它給我沒有人給過我積極的希望和鼓勵。不是說我從來沒有任何人鼓勵我，有很多朋友們，男朋友們和輔導員給過我他們的鼓勵, 但書本的確有非常非常大的作用，它的力量是遠遠超過其他人做到的, 它就像一個專業和非專業人士的差異！試想像，這就像是你讀數學和物理，用嘴巴教，或用教科書教，哪一個是更有效？我會選擇教科書, 因為它有所有細節，它不只是說。我以前常想“講就易!! 你怎麼知道我的處境?”, 所以無論這些關心我的人告訴我什麼，從來沒有進入我的心，因為他們的表示方式, 沒有被我接受。但在這些書，他們指出所有我故有的想法和懷疑，他們已經知道我有這種心態, 周到地指出, 分析, 提出例子, 給我提出不同的解決辦法！
"我想快樂"，這就是我唯一一樣我一直想要的，我的生命中, 過去 二十多年來沒有真正的做到過。這是命運? 我要在此極度悲憂, 臨界崩潰的情況下，才會終於讀這些書。如果沒有這段深沉的藍色時期，我不認為我會像現在這樣不僅讀這些書, 還要充滿希望, 快樂地讀這些書。^ ^
我答應自己，我會繼續讀書, 直到我成為我想做的"真正快樂人"！這是非常真的: “書籍是靈魂的食物”, 書讓你更新你的頭腦和釋放更多的創意。我已經覺得在我的精神層面有這樣的變化在發生中，真的非常令我激動, 感謝我現在發生的每件事，這些事祇讓我變更強！ ^v^
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Gym-Dreaming
現在，當我運動，我便會像朋友一樣跟天主談話，一路走著跑步機, 一路跨著跨步機。每當我有安靜的時間，影像開始再次浮上腦海. 現在我偶然想起過去我不知道我記得的快樂或不快樂的記憶，偶然想起一切我可以做但沒有做的事情, 也偶然想像一些他現在可能在做著的一切一切, 當我想到這最後一項時我的心非常非常痛。我的心矛盾的游走在消極和積極之間... 我有時消極，有時正面，有時是充滿希望的，有時是絕望。 我困惑, 我告訴祂這一切情緒, 和祂一起自言自語的分析了這些矛盾。
最後, 我告訴祂, 我不希望仍然這樣了，我真的不想去想任何不健康的東西。所以在腦海中，我想像用手遞給他一箱我所有不健康的念頭, 我說, "請把我的雜物拿走，因為我只需要帶好和有用的行李離開這一處地方, 我想離開這地方, 謝謝!" 現在, 天主像朋友, 像一個永遠與我在一起面對任何挑戰的友人。一個永遠不會離開我, 放棄我的友人。
每一次吸氣我想像我吸進積極的力量，每一次呼氣，我想像我把一個一個消極的思想, 把令我消極的人和事, 一下一下釋放出。我沒有發明這種方法，很久以前我已經知道，最近，我從書中再次看到它才真正使用。我從來沒有想到會有用，但這些天用了它確實對我幫助很大。
走 著走著, 我的眼睛不再看計時器, 流著汗, 腳下節奏只管一直繼續下去。我的心飄到窗外的天空, 看著車經過，看著雪花浮動, 我意識到，我只有現在的時間，世界走如此之快, 世界永遠不會停下來. 所以我要繼續向前跟上，我不再想浪費寶貴的時間。我不希望任何人對我失望, 我不希望自己失望。
在那一刻我對自己說, 從現在起每一步我也要用我的全部力量，就像我在如何流著汗如何覺得倦, 覺得我不能再走但仍然用盡所以氣力走下去!
如果我連這簡單的運動也不能堅持做, 我對人生還能做什麼?
我去健身房，我不能相信這麼快完成30分鐘快步和30分鐘有氧運動。擦著我的汗, 我很自豪。我沒有令自己失望. 我要一步一步做每一個未做和不想面對的事, 我不會停下來! 我知道我又行前多一步了!!
"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." - Philippians 4:13
最後, 我告訴祂, 我不希望仍然這樣了，我真的不想去想任何不健康的東西。所以在腦海中，我想像用手遞給他一箱我所有不健康的念頭, 我說, "請把我的雜物拿走，因為我只需要帶好和有用的行李離開這一處地方, 我想離開這地方, 謝謝!" 現在, 天主像朋友, 像一個永遠與我在一起面對任何挑戰的友人。一個永遠不會離開我, 放棄我的友人。
每一次吸氣我想像我吸進積極的力量，每一次呼氣，我想像我把一個一個消極的思想, 把令我消極的人和事, 一下一下釋放出。我沒有發明這種方法，很久以前我已經知道，最近，我從書中再次看到它才真正使用。我從來沒有想到會有用，但這些天用了它確實對我幫助很大。
走 著走著, 我的眼睛不再看計時器, 流著汗, 腳下節奏只管一直繼續下去。我的心飄到窗外的天空, 看著車經過，看著雪花浮動, 我意識到，我只有現在的時間，世界走如此之快, 世界永遠不會停下來. 所以我要繼續向前跟上，我不再想浪費寶貴的時間。我不希望任何人對我失望, 我不希望自己失望。
在那一刻我對自己說, 從現在起每一步我也要用我的全部力量，就像我在如何流著汗如何覺得倦, 覺得我不能再走但仍然用盡所以氣力走下去!
如果我連這簡單的運動也不能堅持做, 我對人生還能做什麼?
我去健身房，我不能相信這麼快完成30分鐘快步和30分鐘有氧運動。擦著我的汗, 我很自豪。我沒有令自己失望. 我要一步一步做每一個未做和不想面對的事, 我不會停下來! 我知道我又行前多一步了!!
"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." - Philippians 4:13
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
頭痛和心痛一樣痛苦
頭痛, 我並不是在說我對任何事情迷惑
我在說真正的頭痛.
不好受.
我通常不會頭痛.
昨天是高興的一天，我什至在晚上做運動試圖擺脫頭痛. 但到今天我仍然頭痛.
我是否生病了？
我認為這些天我已經盡力保持自己在良好的狀態! 當我的心終於感覺有一點好了，為什麼我有這個?
突然意識到，沒有什麼比身和心也一起不暢快更糟糕的了.
我必須感謝我日常有的一切, 我學到, 一切從來不是理所當然的.
祝願大家有健康的靈魂，思想和身體!
我在說真正的頭痛.
不好受.
我通常不會頭痛.
昨天是高興的一天，我什至在晚上做運動試圖擺脫頭痛. 但到今天我仍然頭痛.
我是否生病了？
我認為這些天我已經盡力保持自己在良好的狀態! 當我的心終於感覺有一點好了，為什麼我有這個?
突然意識到，沒有什麼比身和心也一起不暢快更糟糕的了.
我必須感謝我日常有的一切, 我學到, 一切從來不是理所當然的.
祝願大家有健康的靈魂，思想和身體!
Monday, February 8, 2010
被天主拍膊頭
今天早上七點多鐘, 鬧鐘還沒有響, 我已經緩緩清醒。已經這樣一段時間了, 我是否對按時醒來太緊張了？我又想，是我一天一天越來越健康了!
但是當我緩緩地在床上坐起身來，緊密我的眼睛，我掙扎著我應不應該去見我的學校導師! 我想我需要更多的睡眠，因為我為了今天的功課昨晚工作至深夜. 仍然緊密我的眼睛, 但突然有這股力量在我身上流動，我不困了。是我內疚？我的良心嗎？這肯定是天主的鼓勵!
讀著讀著這些天我最喜愛的書, 很快很容易到達學校, 我感覺不錯. 感謝這種平靜坐車之旅! 隨之而後有一點緊張... 因已經十個月沒見過學校導師, 我又有一點內疚, 因為現在我很傷心，我才又找她?! 步行上樓梯，開門，我告訴自己，"沒關係，天主與我一起, 沒有什麼東西擔心的。"
一見面, 她很歡迎我，我說 "我知道很長時間沒見過你..." , 她說 "你永遠不必擔心.." 我與天主的交談成真了! 我很高興我勇敢回來。我答應過自己, 我要一步一步完成每一個未完成和不想面對的工作! 今天完成一個, 我又行前一步了!!
見面主要是更新我的最新消息給她聽。我們沒有談得很深入，因為有太多太多的東西! 最後，我們談論一些志願工作。我提到我一直在這個促進精神健康的青年組做志願工作。她說很好, 社會非常需要這種類型的服務，她說她來到 OCAD 以前，她的工作是輔導兒童和青少年的精神問題。 她鼓勵我們擴充這個青年組, 下次見面她可以和我研究? 哇。這真是好! 從很久以前，我們已經希望使這一群體擴大，但我們從來沒有得到機會, 又沒有足夠的資源, 最重要的是，我們需要幫助. 現在我真的想做了，因為我愛這志願工作組！這肯定又是天主對我的鼓勵! 目標又多了一個!
今天天主對我有太多太多鼓勵! 如果我寫每一個細節，這會佔用另一頁! 所以，我會盡快在這裡說完它了:
見過學校導師後, 我花兩個小時在做我的功課, 感覺有點餓, 在想，我需要更多的時間找一些食物當午飯, 不一會兒後，這傢伙拿著一盤鬆餅和糕點問人們要不要一些，說因為樓上開會吃不完! 他走到我的桌子，當然，以我的節儉作風，我很高興接受了! 哈哈哈! 太好了！我什至不須到外面去找食物，又可以繼續工作! 感謝在這不能更好的最佳時間, 給我美食充饑!
當我上課，我才知道每個人要做presentation！我沒有準備! 在休息時間，我做了一個簡單的 power point, 在沒有什麼準備下做了一個不錯的 presentation. 每個人都投入討論我的作業. 太好了! 感謝主鼓勵我不到最後一分鐘也不放棄!
當回家時, 我們等了很久的列車人多到沒有位給我上車, 我首先想到的是，"現在下午6點 ，下一列車也沒有位了..." 然後我想，"這沒關係，不要緊. 我在班上坐了三個小時, 站著好!" 然後下一輛車很快來到, 還要有很多位甚至不用爭位, 不用站! 感謝讓我放鬆地上到地鐵!
感謝天主感謝天主感謝天主!!! ^_^
"This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." - Psalm 118:24
但是當我緩緩地在床上坐起身來，緊密我的眼睛，我掙扎著我應不應該去見我的學校導師! 我想我需要更多的睡眠，因為我為了今天的功課昨晚工作至深夜. 仍然緊密我的眼睛, 但突然有這股力量在我身上流動，我不困了。是我內疚？我的良心嗎？這肯定是天主的鼓勵!
讀著讀著這些天我最喜愛的書, 很快很容易到達學校, 我感覺不錯. 感謝這種平靜坐車之旅! 隨之而後有一點緊張... 因已經十個月沒見過學校導師, 我又有一點內疚, 因為現在我很傷心，我才又找她?! 步行上樓梯，開門，我告訴自己，"沒關係，天主與我一起, 沒有什麼東西擔心的。"
一見面, 她很歡迎我，我說 "我知道很長時間沒見過你..." , 她說 "你永遠不必擔心.." 我與天主的交談成真了! 我很高興我勇敢回來。我答應過自己, 我要一步一步完成每一個未完成和不想面對的工作! 今天完成一個, 我又行前一步了!!
見面主要是更新我的最新消息給她聽。我們沒有談得很深入，因為有太多太多的東西! 最後，我們談論一些志願工作。我提到我一直在這個促進精神健康的青年組做志願工作。她說很好, 社會非常需要這種類型的服務，她說她來到 OCAD 以前，她的工作是輔導兒童和青少年的精神問題。 她鼓勵我們擴充這個青年組, 下次見面她可以和我研究? 哇。這真是好! 從很久以前，我們已經希望使這一群體擴大，但我們從來沒有得到機會, 又沒有足夠的資源, 最重要的是，我們需要幫助. 現在我真的想做了，因為我愛這志願工作組！這肯定又是天主對我的鼓勵! 目標又多了一個!
今天天主對我有太多太多鼓勵! 如果我寫每一個細節，這會佔用另一頁! 所以，我會盡快在這裡說完它了:
見過學校導師後, 我花兩個小時在做我的功課, 感覺有點餓, 在想，我需要更多的時間找一些食物當午飯, 不一會兒後，這傢伙拿著一盤鬆餅和糕點問人們要不要一些，說因為樓上開會吃不完! 他走到我的桌子，當然，以我的節儉作風，我很高興接受了! 哈哈哈! 太好了！我什至不須到外面去找食物，又可以繼續工作! 感謝在這不能更好的最佳時間, 給我美食充饑!
當我上課，我才知道每個人要做presentation！我沒有準備! 在休息時間，我做了一個簡單的 power point, 在沒有什麼準備下做了一個不錯的 presentation. 每個人都投入討論我的作業. 太好了! 感謝主鼓勵我不到最後一分鐘也不放棄!
當回家時, 我們等了很久的列車人多到沒有位給我上車, 我首先想到的是，"現在下午6點 ，下一列車也沒有位了..." 然後我想，"這沒關係，不要緊. 我在班上坐了三個小時, 站著好!" 然後下一輛車很快來到, 還要有很多位甚至不用爭位, 不用站! 感謝讓我放鬆地上到地鐵!
感謝天主感謝天主感謝天主!!! ^_^
"This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." - Psalm 118:24
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Church Teachings - Feb. 7, 10. Fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time
Then I said, “Woe is me, I am doomed!
For I am a man of unclean lips,
living among a people of unclean lips;
yet my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!”
Then one of the seraphim flew to me,
holding an ember that he had taken with tongs from the altar.
He touched my mouth with it, and said,
“See, now that this has touched your lips,
your wickedness is removed, your sin purged.”
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying,
“Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?”
“Here I am,” I said; “send me!” - Isaiah 6:1 - 8
Don't be ashamed to go to Church because of your problems and sins, for healthy people are not the only people go to a doctor. Sinners are more than welcome in Church than regular Church-goers.
Self-Reflection: Yes, I'm very sick right now. I need to go to the doctor so badly. Please take me in, God.
“Put out into deep water and lower your nets for a catch.” Simon said in reply,
“Master, we have worked hard all night and have caught nothing, but at your command I will lower the nets.”
When they had done this, they caught a great number of fish and their nets were tearing.
They signaled to their partners in the other boat to come to help them.
They came and filled both boats so that the boats were in danger of sinking.
When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at the knees of Jesus and said,
“Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.”
For astonishment at the catch of fish they had made seized him and all those with him,
and likewise James and John, the sons of Zebedee, who were partners of Simon.
Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men.”
When they brought their boats to the shore, they left everything and followed him. - Luke 5:1-11
You prayed for many years but did not get what you prayed for, you went to Church but good things do not seem to happen, you lost trust in God and asked what's the point to believe? For God has His plan, trust him and you shall get what is best for you. Follow the path God has planned for us, God entrust us to be His people, we also should trust God to be our leader in life. You only need to have faith and believe in God, what He gives you and His love for you is always more than enough.
Self-Reflection: For so long I thought I fought hard, kept going, but without faith, I failed and got nothing in return, because I am a sinner who left God. This time, God is here, telling me to go back to Him. If I "lower my nets for catch" with all my hearts, I know the best is not far away. God, please guide me for I cannot see what's ahead of me. I'm afraid for this change, please give me more strength to continue to follow you and to put all my trust in you from now on. Will I be able to "catch men" if I follow you??? ^_^ hahaha... I think so.
For I am a man of unclean lips,
living among a people of unclean lips;
yet my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!”
Then one of the seraphim flew to me,
holding an ember that he had taken with tongs from the altar.
He touched my mouth with it, and said,
“See, now that this has touched your lips,
your wickedness is removed, your sin purged.”
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying,
“Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?”
“Here I am,” I said; “send me!” - Isaiah 6:1 - 8
Don't be ashamed to go to Church because of your problems and sins, for healthy people are not the only people go to a doctor. Sinners are more than welcome in Church than regular Church-goers.
Self-Reflection: Yes, I'm very sick right now. I need to go to the doctor so badly. Please take me in, God.
“Put out into deep water and lower your nets for a catch.” Simon said in reply,
“Master, we have worked hard all night and have caught nothing, but at your command I will lower the nets.”
When they had done this, they caught a great number of fish and their nets were tearing.
They signaled to their partners in the other boat to come to help them.
They came and filled both boats so that the boats were in danger of sinking.
When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at the knees of Jesus and said,
“Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.”
For astonishment at the catch of fish they had made seized him and all those with him,
and likewise James and John, the sons of Zebedee, who were partners of Simon.
Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men.”
When they brought their boats to the shore, they left everything and followed him. - Luke 5:1-11
You prayed for many years but did not get what you prayed for, you went to Church but good things do not seem to happen, you lost trust in God and asked what's the point to believe? For God has His plan, trust him and you shall get what is best for you. Follow the path God has planned for us, God entrust us to be His people, we also should trust God to be our leader in life. You only need to have faith and believe in God, what He gives you and His love for you is always more than enough.
Self-Reflection: For so long I thought I fought hard, kept going, but without faith, I failed and got nothing in return, because I am a sinner who left God. This time, God is here, telling me to go back to Him. If I "lower my nets for catch" with all my hearts, I know the best is not far away. God, please guide me for I cannot see what's ahead of me. I'm afraid for this change, please give me more strength to continue to follow you and to put all my trust in you from now on. Will I be able to "catch men" if I follow you??? ^_^ hahaha... I think so.
Don't Understand.
The melody of the song is terrible, I think the lyrics can be better, and I have no clue why is this singer became a singer at all... but I have this feeling this song is planned for me to hear it, because I have not listen to any new chinese songs for literally years (probably 3 to 4 years)... and here I go seeing this MV on the TV when I came back from Church. What the?
I like the lyrics though, suits me right! :P I am totally relate to it.
從前流淚光 - 鍾舒漫
作曲：鍾舒漫
填詞：游思行
編曲：謝浩文
監製：謝浩文
從前流淚光 埋藏某地方
妄想跟失望 傷心激盪
＊原來那淚光 明瞭才是光
痛苦的海岸 許多寶藏
#我是那樣那樣愛他 我是那樣那樣愛他
Don't you see we'll last forever... forever
我是那樣那樣愛他 逐年逐年地忘掉他
為何為何又談論他
說句好話吧 善心的欺騙只想終結更優雅
我對他思想 意會嗎
仍記得他所說的話 男人的軟弱 可以了解嗎
Repeat ＊, #
說句公道話 自己一賭氣比他生氣更可怕
和平的相處要學嗎
仍記得他所說的話 如果想靠近 不要太喧嘩
以後莫失莫忘 情是有風浪
平靜看風浪 我的可愛滲和了血汗
說句多謝吧 自己的需要終於真正了解嗎
從前的不必太念掛
仍記得他所說的話 人生想快樂 要變鮮花
從前流淚光 埋藏某地方
妄想跟失望 傷心激盪
原來那淚光 明瞭才是光
我找到寶藏
Questions and answers in my mind after I thought over it:
Q1: Guys want girls to understand guys, but do guys even try to understand girls?
A: I should try harder to understand them. But it should be a two way street. Why do girls have to chase after guys and crack them open so they finally speak what's in them? I'm not good in expressing and counseling, I'm not the girly girl, does that mean I don't deserve a guy in my life time? Guys just run away when things don't go their ways, every guys do that. They never care, they never go out of their ways, they just don't care about anything. When they said they try, they probably did but they did it in all the wrong ways and they don't care to go further than that.
Q2: Guys don't like girls who are loud and emotional.
A: I also don't like guys who are insensitive and don't express their thoughts. I deserve to be full of emotions because I am the way I am, and life without dramas and emotions is just plain bore. But I did go overboard about anger that is true, but still, it's a two way street. Guy can find a way to get to me, if you really try. I'm so easy to get happy and sad, like a kid. You just have to do it and don't run away from me, or I get more noisy. When girls get emotional, it's probably all about the guys, so stop blaming everything on girls, guys cause everything and it's so simple to fix it, just talk and don't run.
Q3: If anyone wants to be happy, you have to keep it fresh and live in present.
A: Living in present is good, I agree. But how to keep things fresh? Again, it's a two way street. Why do girls have to do all these by herself, when all guys do is just staying home watching TV and expect us to do everything else? I just want to spend good times together, not watching TV or computer or video games every night. They are the ones who make everything stale. Good things never last I guess, they do all the things in the beginning and screw your mind up to make you think they care so you do all the things for them after. They never care.
Gosh, these answers don't make me go anywhere. I need more thinking to understand. and I apologize for over generalized guys. I think my old "Guys sucks issues" are creeping back at me.
God, help me take away my negativeness, and change me into a smarter and loving person??? I know I can do this if I believe.
I like the lyrics though, suits me right! :P I am totally relate to it.
從前流淚光 - 鍾舒漫
作曲：鍾舒漫
填詞：游思行
編曲：謝浩文
監製：謝浩文
從前流淚光 埋藏某地方
妄想跟失望 傷心激盪
＊原來那淚光 明瞭才是光
痛苦的海岸 許多寶藏
#我是那樣那樣愛他 我是那樣那樣愛他
Don't you see we'll last forever... forever
我是那樣那樣愛他 逐年逐年地忘掉他
為何為何又談論他
說句好話吧 善心的欺騙只想終結更優雅
我對他思想 意會嗎
仍記得他所說的話 男人的軟弱 可以了解嗎
Repeat ＊, #
說句公道話 自己一賭氣比他生氣更可怕
和平的相處要學嗎
仍記得他所說的話 如果想靠近 不要太喧嘩
以後莫失莫忘 情是有風浪
平靜看風浪 我的可愛滲和了血汗
說句多謝吧 自己的需要終於真正了解嗎
從前的不必太念掛
仍記得他所說的話 人生想快樂 要變鮮花
從前流淚光 埋藏某地方
妄想跟失望 傷心激盪
原來那淚光 明瞭才是光
我找到寶藏
Questions and answers in my mind after I thought over it:
Q1: Guys want girls to understand guys, but do guys even try to understand girls?
A: I should try harder to understand them. But it should be a two way street. Why do girls have to chase after guys and crack them open so they finally speak what's in them? I'm not good in expressing and counseling, I'm not the girly girl, does that mean I don't deserve a guy in my life time? Guys just run away when things don't go their ways, every guys do that. They never care, they never go out of their ways, they just don't care about anything. When they said they try, they probably did but they did it in all the wrong ways and they don't care to go further than that.
Q2: Guys don't like girls who are loud and emotional.
A: I also don't like guys who are insensitive and don't express their thoughts. I deserve to be full of emotions because I am the way I am, and life without dramas and emotions is just plain bore. But I did go overboard about anger that is true, but still, it's a two way street. Guy can find a way to get to me, if you really try. I'm so easy to get happy and sad, like a kid. You just have to do it and don't run away from me, or I get more noisy. When girls get emotional, it's probably all about the guys, so stop blaming everything on girls, guys cause everything and it's so simple to fix it, just talk and don't run.
Q3: If anyone wants to be happy, you have to keep it fresh and live in present.
A: Living in present is good, I agree. But how to keep things fresh? Again, it's a two way street. Why do girls have to do all these by herself, when all guys do is just staying home watching TV and expect us to do everything else? I just want to spend good times together, not watching TV or computer or video games every night. They are the ones who make everything stale. Good things never last I guess, they do all the things in the beginning and screw your mind up to make you think they care so you do all the things for them after. They never care.
Gosh, these answers don't make me go anywhere. I need more thinking to understand. and I apologize for over generalized guys. I think my old "Guys sucks issues" are creeping back at me.
God, help me take away my negativeness, and change me into a smarter and loving person??? I know I can do this if I believe.
Reflection Part 5 只要人還在
"生命" 是最重要的
沒有生命, 你，我，他不會存在於這認知的世界中.
人生在世, 日常生活中, 我們做著很多東西:
每天起床，吃飯, 工作，娛樂, 睡眠...
我一直在想, 有沒有更多？
之前, 我用光我生命的熱情和能量, 我感覺絕望
在嘗試所有我想會讓我有意義的事情, 我仍然對生命絕望, 對每件事絕望, 我也越來越對自己的人生絕望
我沒有精力做任何事情, 我看不到出路.
不過，這些天覺醒後, 我終於從許多閱讀中找到了治療和填補這個空洞的答案
填補心靈的空洞, 物質世界中的東西是不能做到的
萬事的來源是造物主, 有些人稱之為"宇宙", "力量". 這"力量"建造了所有精神和物質世界的一切, 這"力量"便是答案! 如果我們能夠連接此根源, 那麼我們就會得到這個無限的能量. 這個能量可以做就一切，因為一切基本上來自它.
"生命" 是重要的, "精神生命" 更加的重要, 沒有健康的"精神生命", 我們沒有了至少一半或以上的"生命".
要有健康的"精神生命", 那麼我們需要"精神力量".
物質和肉體的滿足, 對我來說給我很少的精神力量.
我發現, 沒有什麼是比天主, 比愛更強大的精神力量了.
愛是一切的泉源. 天主是愛, 愛是天主. 天主是一切的泉源.
只要人還在生, 只要有愛, 我們會擁有一切, 因為一切來自愛
擁有愛, 生命不會再是絕望的.
"... in Him we live, and move, and have our being." - Acts 17:28
Meaning: In Him we have vitality, and have dynamic energy, and attain completeness.
沒有生命, 你，我，他不會存在於這認知的世界中.
人生在世, 日常生活中, 我們做著很多東西:
每天起床，吃飯, 工作，娛樂, 睡眠...
我一直在想, 有沒有更多？
之前, 我用光我生命的熱情和能量, 我感覺絕望
在嘗試所有我想會讓我有意義的事情, 我仍然對生命絕望, 對每件事絕望, 我也越來越對自己的人生絕望
我沒有精力做任何事情, 我看不到出路.
不過，這些天覺醒後, 我終於從許多閱讀中找到了治療和填補這個空洞的答案
填補心靈的空洞, 物質世界中的東西是不能做到的
萬事的來源是造物主, 有些人稱之為"宇宙", "力量". 這"力量"建造了所有精神和物質世界的一切, 這"力量"便是答案! 如果我們能夠連接此根源, 那麼我們就會得到這個無限的能量. 這個能量可以做就一切，因為一切基本上來自它.
"生命" 是重要的, "精神生命" 更加的重要, 沒有健康的"精神生命", 我們沒有了至少一半或以上的"生命".
要有健康的"精神生命", 那麼我們需要"精神力量".
物質和肉體的滿足, 對我來說給我很少的精神力量.
我發現, 沒有什麼是比天主, 比愛更強大的精神力量了.
愛是一切的泉源. 天主是愛, 愛是天主. 天主是一切的泉源.
只要人還在生, 只要有愛, 我們會擁有一切, 因為一切來自愛
擁有愛, 生命不會再是絕望的.
"... in Him we live, and move, and have our being." - Acts 17:28
Meaning: In Him we have vitality, and have dynamic energy, and attain completeness.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Change.
"When He said, "A new covenant," He has made the first obsolete. But whatever is becoming obsolete and growing old is ready to disappear." - Hebrews 8:13
The night before, I saw this devotional on Gospel.com saying - "Don't be Afraid of Change"
Yea... "I" became "obsolete". It must be really the time for me to change, it's been many years, I stopped, paused, confused, depressed, scared. I am now determine to move on. I am desperately wanting to get out of this "old-self" of mine now. I had always look for strength and support, I thought there would be it from the people loved me the most, but there wasn't any that made my heart and mind change. No one in the world can yet provide me this power. Until now, I hear Him calling me... that is God. I know with Him, I can do this.
"Dear God, in these days of rapid change, please give me the courage to change the things I need to change, the insight to know the things I must not change, and the wisdom to know the difference. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
The night before, I saw this devotional on Gospel.com saying - "Don't be Afraid of Change"
Yea... "I" became "obsolete". It must be really the time for me to change, it's been many years, I stopped, paused, confused, depressed, scared. I am now determine to move on. I am desperately wanting to get out of this "old-self" of mine now. I had always look for strength and support, I thought there would be it from the people loved me the most, but there wasn't any that made my heart and mind change. No one in the world can yet provide me this power. Until now, I hear Him calling me... that is God. I know with Him, I can do this.
"Dear God, in these days of rapid change, please give me the courage to change the things I need to change, the insight to know the things I must not change, and the wisdom to know the difference. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
Reflection Part 4 只要心常開
如何畫下"人"的定義?
對我來說做人的意義是"快樂"
以前，當我年輕時, "快樂"是玩耍, 談笑話
年齡稍大了少許, "快樂"是買東西, 吃東西, 出街, 不回家, 做盡一切瘋狂的事情
年歲更大少許, "快樂"是與喜歡的人經常在一起, 做彼此喜歡的事情
人更大了, "快樂"是什麼?
每隔一會兒我便有這種感覺, "快樂"是什麼? 我覺得自己已經做盡了一切我喜歡的事情了?!
不再買東西, 不再經常出街, 不再到處吃東西, 不再經常談笑話, 不再做瘋狂的事
那麼"快樂"在我是什麼?
找不到答案, 我沮喪, 我不想做任何事情.
我不開心. 做任何事情變得不成功, 我落入這個不開心的陷阱
我可以在哪裡找到"人的意義"?
最近，在大量的閱讀和大量的祈禱
我發現，它實際上非常接近我, 環繞我周圍其實都是"意義".
"快樂"其實就是環繞我周圍的一切!
我忽視了許多東西，因為我總是往遠距離的看, 遠距離的找.
我上面說的一切也是快樂, 不過那些是比較輕而易舉的快樂. (低級low level的快樂..)
難找到的是內心深處的快樂 (高級high level的快樂), 我終於覺醒要在哪裡找了!
內心深處最終極最強烈永不褪色的快樂 ("高呢"的快樂! ^^)是要往心裡找!
只要我把"心打開", 心就會自然"開心"!
以前，我從來沒有打開我的心. 我總是在外面尋找它...
擁抱, 相信, 愛一切，我的心就會是快樂的真正泉源
而這個愛的泉源, 只有天主可以使它永流不息!
祂是一切萬物的泉源, 請給我力量, 我的天主! 請幫助我"升呢"! 哈哈哈!
"... be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind..." - Romans 12:2
對我來說做人的意義是"快樂"
以前，當我年輕時, "快樂"是玩耍, 談笑話
年齡稍大了少許, "快樂"是買東西, 吃東西, 出街, 不回家, 做盡一切瘋狂的事情
年歲更大少許, "快樂"是與喜歡的人經常在一起, 做彼此喜歡的事情
人更大了, "快樂"是什麼?
每隔一會兒我便有這種感覺, "快樂"是什麼? 我覺得自己已經做盡了一切我喜歡的事情了?!
不再買東西, 不再經常出街, 不再到處吃東西, 不再經常談笑話, 不再做瘋狂的事
那麼"快樂"在我是什麼?
找不到答案, 我沮喪, 我不想做任何事情.
我不開心. 做任何事情變得不成功, 我落入這個不開心的陷阱
我可以在哪裡找到"人的意義"?
最近，在大量的閱讀和大量的祈禱
我發現，它實際上非常接近我, 環繞我周圍其實都是"意義".
"快樂"其實就是環繞我周圍的一切!
我忽視了許多東西，因為我總是往遠距離的看, 遠距離的找.
我上面說的一切也是快樂, 不過那些是比較輕而易舉的快樂. (低級low level的快樂..)
難找到的是內心深處的快樂 (高級high level的快樂), 我終於覺醒要在哪裡找了!
內心深處最終極最強烈永不褪色的快樂 ("高呢"的快樂! ^^)是要往心裡找!
只要我把"心打開", 心就會自然"開心"!
以前，我從來沒有打開我的心. 我總是在外面尋找它...
擁抱, 相信, 愛一切，我的心就會是快樂的真正泉源
而這個愛的泉源, 只有天主可以使它永流不息!
祂是一切萬物的泉源, 請給我力量, 我的天主! 請幫助我"升呢"! 哈哈哈!
"... be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind..." - Romans 12:2
Friday, February 5, 2010
RSVP
"For many are invited, but few are chosen." - Matthew 22:14
God welcomes and invites everyone of us to Heaven, but only a few of us would actually make it. Can I hope that I will be one of those few? Can I RSVP for this invitation?? ^ ^
I am going to try my best to live up to the name of being a true Catholic... God, please give me strength to shine and make me the light of the world! ^_^
God welcomes and invites everyone of us to Heaven, but only a few of us would actually make it. Can I hope that I will be one of those few? Can I RSVP for this invitation?? ^ ^
I am going to try my best to live up to the name of being a true Catholic... God, please give me strength to shine and make me the light of the world! ^_^
Reflection Part 3 只要家仍在
我說: "即使是最親密的人, 我也隱藏迴避, 因為我的感覺情緒超越我的思想控制範圍, 我只知道用怨恨去分享, 用惱怒去帶出問題, 恨東西總不是我想要的, 恨我不知道如何分析, 解決."
我意識到，我從來沒有學會如何與任何人溝通,
因為我一生從來沒有與家人溝通過
"家人"對我來說，和我對"朋友"一樣, 只是一個名詞, 意思是這些人和我一起生活, 一起管理這個"家". "家" 是一個地方, 一起居住的地方. "家"對我來說, 感覺是一個永不改變的東西, "家人"是不改變的, 一生的. 父母和祖父母說的做的, 我從來不認為我可以改變. 年紀愈大我愈不喜歡這個家, 我開始恨因為我會永遠"困"在這家, 因為我不認同我家人的態度. 直到最近，我發現，我和我恨的家人都是一樣的, 他們一直塑造"我". 這個"我"其實從他們那裡繼承所有"我"不喜歡的東西. "我"總是一直將這些不喜歡的東西附帶到我身邊的人身上...
迴避,不說,不講,不理,不想,"隱藏"是我家的作風. 一切避免談是我家的習慣. 有什麼事便嚇唬, 用叫叱, 哭喊發洩出來, 互相控制. 直到一切又回到和平，就好像什麼都沒有發生，沒有人會談論這件事.
我家從不解決任何事, 只假裝什麼都沒有發生. 直到下一次同樣的事情再次發生，這一循環永遠不結束. 因此"我"恨這個家, 因為我會永遠"困"在這永遠不結束的惡姓循環. 現在想一想, 我其實也暗地裡恨"我自己", 因為我不知道該怎麼辦. 恨我的思想控制範圍控制不到這一切, 恨我沒有一個我想要的人生, "家"! 我什至用這種態度對待我的愛人, 恨我們的僵局, 恨我們不一起解決任何事, 但我從來不勇敢去說過我們的問題. 因為我對待他就像我對待家人一樣, 我用從我在家所知道的最好的方法... "隱藏" "免談問題". 我不快樂.
不快樂的事情永無止境發生, 結束這一循環是明智之舉..
當我終於改變我看事情的態度, 現在我學習了行到路的另一邊, 用積極的態度對待每一個人, 我不能繼續和他們走在負面的路上, 做一樣負面的事情, 因為這樣，我只會和他們一樣使用負面的態度來對待一切. 我不希望再是這樣. 我不希望再陷入無休止的循環.
我發現，用了善意的態度後，我們的關係都感覺更好。我終於與我的媽媽談話, 並告訴她我對她的關心. 即使是每一天簡單的問候, 我祖父母的心情也變得好了, 我也勇敢地提醒他們有時候談話時，太過於憤怒。
只要一天大家仍然在這個家, 只要永不放棄大家, 只要我繼續用積極的態度去戰勝其消極的習慣. 我相信，家庭關係只會更好. 只要永不放棄... 對不對, 天主?
我意識到，我從來沒有學會如何與任何人溝通,
因為我一生從來沒有與家人溝通過
"家人"對我來說，和我對"朋友"一樣, 只是一個名詞, 意思是這些人和我一起生活, 一起管理這個"家". "家" 是一個地方, 一起居住的地方. "家"對我來說, 感覺是一個永不改變的東西, "家人"是不改變的, 一生的. 父母和祖父母說的做的, 我從來不認為我可以改變. 年紀愈大我愈不喜歡這個家, 我開始恨因為我會永遠"困"在這家, 因為我不認同我家人的態度. 直到最近，我發現，我和我恨的家人都是一樣的, 他們一直塑造"我". 這個"我"其實從他們那裡繼承所有"我"不喜歡的東西. "我"總是一直將這些不喜歡的東西附帶到我身邊的人身上...
迴避,不說,不講,不理,不想,"隱藏"是我家的作風. 一切避免談是我家的習慣. 有什麼事便嚇唬, 用叫叱, 哭喊發洩出來, 互相控制. 直到一切又回到和平，就好像什麼都沒有發生，沒有人會談論這件事.
我家從不解決任何事, 只假裝什麼都沒有發生. 直到下一次同樣的事情再次發生，這一循環永遠不結束. 因此"我"恨這個家, 因為我會永遠"困"在這永遠不結束的惡姓循環. 現在想一想, 我其實也暗地裡恨"我自己", 因為我不知道該怎麼辦. 恨我的思想控制範圍控制不到這一切, 恨我沒有一個我想要的人生, "家"! 我什至用這種態度對待我的愛人, 恨我們的僵局, 恨我們不一起解決任何事, 但我從來不勇敢去說過我們的問題. 因為我對待他就像我對待家人一樣, 我用從我在家所知道的最好的方法... "隱藏" "免談問題". 我不快樂.
不快樂的事情永無止境發生, 結束這一循環是明智之舉..
當我終於改變我看事情的態度, 現在我學習了行到路的另一邊, 用積極的態度對待每一個人, 我不能繼續和他們走在負面的路上, 做一樣負面的事情, 因為這樣，我只會和他們一樣使用負面的態度來對待一切. 我不希望再是這樣. 我不希望再陷入無休止的循環.
我發現，用了善意的態度後，我們的關係都感覺更好。我終於與我的媽媽談話, 並告訴她我對她的關心. 即使是每一天簡單的問候, 我祖父母的心情也變得好了, 我也勇敢地提醒他們有時候談話時，太過於憤怒。
只要一天大家仍然在這個家, 只要永不放棄大家, 只要我繼續用積極的態度去戰勝其消極的習慣. 我相信，家庭關係只會更好. 只要永不放棄... 對不對, 天主?
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Reflection Part 2 只友情永在
"好朋友", 原來他們已一直在我身邊
想法接近我的，想法不太接近我的，不要緊
我學會接受一個事實 - 每個人是不同的，經驗不同，想法不同
但是我們相同的是都希望和人在一起, 分享感情, 分享想法, 相互支持, 沒有人希望孤獨的
這些好朋友讓我不孤獨, 他們真誠地支持我.
"最好的朋友", 原來他們也是一直在我身邊
只是我們從不談論自己，認識對方數餘年, 十餘年, 我們從來沒有分享我們的感受，因為我們彼此沒有作出主動! 許多年來我從來不跟任何人有太密切的關係. 跟我風花說月的人好多, 因我是貪玩的, 他們令我忘記我的憂慮, 從前我喜歡這些類型的"朋友", 因為我怕太接近任何人. "最好的朋友" 對我來說，是一個名詞, 意思是這個朋友和我有同樣的愛好, 做事習慣和價值觀. "最好的朋友", 對我來說，只意味著與他/她一起我有更多的樂趣.
直到最近因為我很傷心，心血來潮地跟我這從來沒有講心事的老朋友講心裡話, 說著說著, 越說越感覺原來錯過了這麼多年, 我最好的朋友竟然近在咫尺, 這老朋友和我有幾乎相同一樣的情況，和我幾乎相同的感受, 對生命我們也正在盡力搜尋自己方向?! 原來"最好的朋友"不僅一起做愉快的事情，還包括其他所有的東西，無論高興或不高興, 最重要的是誠實地分享。 分享心事後，相互支持，如果情況允許,提出意見或分析，但大多數在分享後，你其實已經大約知道你想做的事了
我幾乎可以肯定，我一生從來沒有這樣做，即使是最親密的人, 我也隱藏迴避, 因為我的感覺情緒超越我的思想控制範圍, 我只知道用怨恨去分享, 用惱怒去帶出問題, 恨東西總不是我想要的, 恨我不知道如何分析, 解決. 坐下真正誠實的分享,用心的分析對我來說是新的經驗. 以往, 我一直躲在我生氣的面具後. 我錯了. 我什至不知道何為真正的朋友!!
當這些天我打開我的心, 和每一個人用心交談, 發現真正的朋友已一直在我周圍, 感覺是驚喜，喜悅. 像在漆黑的房間裡，燈突然地亮開，其實所有人也在這一個房間裡。其實我從來不是一個人!
問自己: "我這些年來怎麼沒發現?" 情很奇怪，永遠不知道它在哪裡。
但我意識到，友情，原來已經在這裡很久, 一直等著我!
感謝天主的計劃使我們接近, 使我發現到這情!
天主的計劃真是美麗!
想法接近我的，想法不太接近我的，不要緊
我學會接受一個事實 - 每個人是不同的，經驗不同，想法不同
但是我們相同的是都希望和人在一起, 分享感情, 分享想法, 相互支持, 沒有人希望孤獨的
這些好朋友讓我不孤獨, 他們真誠地支持我.
"最好的朋友", 原來他們也是一直在我身邊
只是我們從不談論自己，認識對方數餘年, 十餘年, 我們從來沒有分享我們的感受，因為我們彼此沒有作出主動! 許多年來我從來不跟任何人有太密切的關係. 跟我風花說月的人好多, 因我是貪玩的, 他們令我忘記我的憂慮, 從前我喜歡這些類型的"朋友", 因為我怕太接近任何人. "最好的朋友" 對我來說，是一個名詞, 意思是這個朋友和我有同樣的愛好, 做事習慣和價值觀. "最好的朋友", 對我來說，只意味著與他/她一起我有更多的樂趣.
直到最近因為我很傷心，心血來潮地跟我這從來沒有講心事的老朋友講心裡話, 說著說著, 越說越感覺原來錯過了這麼多年, 我最好的朋友竟然近在咫尺, 這老朋友和我有幾乎相同一樣的情況，和我幾乎相同的感受, 對生命我們也正在盡力搜尋自己方向?! 原來"最好的朋友"不僅一起做愉快的事情，還包括其他所有的東西，無論高興或不高興, 最重要的是誠實地分享。 分享心事後，相互支持，如果情況允許,提出意見或分析，但大多數在分享後，你其實已經大約知道你想做的事了
我幾乎可以肯定，我一生從來沒有這樣做，即使是最親密的人, 我也隱藏迴避, 因為我的感覺情緒超越我的思想控制範圍, 我只知道用怨恨去分享, 用惱怒去帶出問題, 恨東西總不是我想要的, 恨我不知道如何分析, 解決. 坐下真正誠實的分享,用心的分析對我來說是新的經驗. 以往, 我一直躲在我生氣的面具後. 我錯了. 我什至不知道何為真正的朋友!!
當這些天我打開我的心, 和每一個人用心交談, 發現真正的朋友已一直在我周圍, 感覺是驚喜，喜悅. 像在漆黑的房間裡，燈突然地亮開，其實所有人也在這一個房間裡。其實我從來不是一個人!
問自己: "我這些年來怎麼沒發現?" 情很奇怪，永遠不知道它在哪裡。
但我意識到，友情，原來已經在這裡很久, 一直等著我!
感謝天主的計劃使我們接近, 使我發現到這情!
天主的計劃真是美麗!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Reflection Part 1b 只有神永在
回到天主, 重新聯絡, 再次祈禱, 感覺不是害怕. 還有一種放鬆感. 因為我這一次終於面對我的屈結, 出生在一個天主教家庭, 我意識到我從來就不是一個真正的天主教徒. 好東西感謝，壞東西麻怨, 我所有事沒有信心 - 包括天主
現在，當我覺得我什麼也沒有. 回到天主身邊, 是一個覺悟?
我問: "這一次的變化是在天主的計劃之內麼？"
"是的!" 我的心告訴我.
我決定把我現有緊餘的希望和愛給予天主, 把我所有的怨恨也統統交給祂
祈禱, 祈禱, 再祈禱
閱讀, 閱讀, 再閱讀
我的心放開了, 統統把一切好和壞交給天主
祂立即提供了更多更多的一切!
我突然覺得和朋友, 家人沒有以前那種距離感
發現其實如果我保持一種良好的態度, 所有人是善良和喜歡被重視的
我從來知道自己善良和有善, 但我一直離遠每個人, 我一直躲在我的面具後. 放下偽裝, 勇敢地告訴我的朋友我的弱點, 感覺真好!
這些天是我有生之年和任何人最為接近的日子...
當然這都是因為這些天也是我有生之年和神最為接近的日子
"天主, 您一直等著我嗎?"
"是的!" 我的心告訴我.
"我現在知道愛, 知道天主的愛, 永遠是最好的."
"天主的計劃永遠是最好的" 我的心告訴我.
現在，當我覺得我什麼也沒有. 回到天主身邊, 是一個覺悟?
我問: "這一次的變化是在天主的計劃之內麼？"
"是的!" 我的心告訴我.
我決定把我現有緊餘的希望和愛給予天主, 把我所有的怨恨也統統交給祂
祈禱, 祈禱, 再祈禱
閱讀, 閱讀, 再閱讀
我的心放開了, 統統把一切好和壞交給天主
祂立即提供了更多更多的一切!
我突然覺得和朋友, 家人沒有以前那種距離感
發現其實如果我保持一種良好的態度, 所有人是善良和喜歡被重視的
我從來知道自己善良和有善, 但我一直離遠每個人, 我一直躲在我的面具後. 放下偽裝, 勇敢地告訴我的朋友我的弱點, 感覺真好!
這些天是我有生之年和任何人最為接近的日子...
當然這都是因為這些天也是我有生之年和神最為接近的日子
"天主, 您一直等著我嗎?"
"是的!" 我的心告訴我.
"我現在知道愛, 知道天主的愛, 永遠是最好的."
"天主的計劃永遠是最好的" 我的心告訴我.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Reflection Part 1 只有神永在
人就是這麼怪, 當你把心思放在一件事上, 你會忽略另一件事一心二用, 三用, 四用...非常困難. 至少我不擅長... 覺悟到這些年來,我對愛情, 友情, 親情, 天主通通忽略! 因為我的一個心, 根本從來沒有打開過. 我的心許多年也在怨, 恨, 悲, 忿, 怒, 哀, 對萬事沒有信心, 因為我覺得世界欠我許多其他人有，但我沒有的東西! 多年來我一心去恨, 不能把任何東西放進心. 這些情緒蒙蔽我的眼睛. 使我看不到任何我實際上有的好東西. 一直怕談, 怕任何人問我, 怕任何人談論我. 怕改變自己因為我不想失去我有限, 認知的東西.
直到在這新的一年, 沒有預先認知的人生變化讓我昔日自我建立的偽裝全然粉碎...! 心感覺空蕩蕩的像有一大片被切割了下來, 身體好像被雷電擊中不能移動, 思想被打漂到一個離遠的距離，我可以看到自己...看上去多可悲!! "這一次我真的搞砸了一切!"
突然, 我發現我現在什麼也沒有了...
重複問自己: "我在做什麼？這是我想要的麼？我為什麼這麼多年要這樣做？" "不, 不, 我多年來一直希望有更多的好東西!!!"
但我統統一手把這是我其實有的好東西一一推開, 打碎!!
哭乾, 疲倦, 突然地想起...
天主 ... 一個我背叛了多年的天主... 也許是我唯一有的了.
我決定放下一切, 回到祂! 即使我感到害怕... 即使我害怕改變!
(To be Continue)
直到在這新的一年, 沒有預先認知的人生變化讓我昔日自我建立的偽裝全然粉碎...! 心感覺空蕩蕩的像有一大片被切割了下來, 身體好像被雷電擊中不能移動, 思想被打漂到一個離遠的距離，我可以看到自己...看上去多可悲!! "這一次我真的搞砸了一切!"
突然, 我發現我現在什麼也沒有了...
重複問自己: "我在做什麼？這是我想要的麼？我為什麼這麼多年要這樣做？" "不, 不, 我多年來一直希望有更多的好東西!!!"
但我統統一手把這是我其實有的好東西一一推開, 打碎!!
哭乾, 疲倦, 突然地想起...
天主 ... 一個我背叛了多年的天主... 也許是我唯一有的了.
我決定放下一切, 回到祂! 即使我感到害怕... 即使我害怕改變!
(To be Continue)
Peace of Mind.
Psalm 121
A song of ascents.
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
Thank you my good friend for sharing! ^__^
A song of ascents.
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
Thank you my good friend for sharing! ^__^
兩次見天主, 兩次碰見愛
星期日早上我探望天主, 上一刻的我想著一個人去彌撒感覺有點兒寂寞
下一刻當大家在祝福彼此平安時,
奇蹟發生!
突然有某人叫我的名字, 原來是這坐在我身邊的女士在叫我, 是碰見很長一段時間沒有看到的人! ^_^ 我的一個老朋友的父母! 碰見大家, 她和我也笑不攏嘴, 擁抱在一起!
如此驚喜, 在這個教堂已經不是第一次了, 上次也在門口碰見一個老校友. ^ ^ 然而這次認識的人在這麼多座位的教堂竟然巧合地坐在我身邊, 感覺非常非常神奇! 在回家的路上，我笑出了聲!
星期日同一下午, 約了最近密切了很多的好朋友一起去彌撒... 是的，我再去彌撒 (這個最近才又聯繫上的好朋友也是奇蹟, 下一篇文章我會與您分享我的感受 ^^)至少有一年半沒有去這個教堂, 感覺像舊日子, 嘆息著光陰似箭, 但心情是快樂的
奇蹟又發生!
沒想到還會碰見認識的人, 因為我從來沒有來過這場彌撒! 非常驚喜, 彌撒後, 我緊張地走過去打招呼. 他們也驚喜, 我忍不住擁抱她, 我其實這些天突然十分懷念昔日在這個教堂的回憶, 美好的超過不快樂的許多許多! 有時我問自己，我為什麼不回去探望大家？ 我是想見大家的. ^ - ^ 我大概還沒有準備好, 我現在想變為好的基督徒，然後出來再見大家. 還有是因為我此刻感覺沒有太多好東西可以和大家談, 這一刻我還在體現和思考這些天的每一件事. 現在最想準備自己的心情和了解我自己, 了解天主.
星期日,
我兩次見天主
我兩次碰見愛
天主是在安慰鼓勵我嗎?
走出自己的恐懼, 心痛遺憾, 返回天主的擁抱,
換回很多我以往用仇恨掩蓋住的美好東西
這一天,
突然讓我再一次感覺到這麼多年也沒見的人,
即使多年沒有聯繫, 各自各的在生活著,
祗要大家活在天主的愛內，我們彼此的愛和思念是不會變的.
因為天主會永遠用他無限的愛將我們凝聚在一起!
所有骯髒的東西, 想法和過去, 我相信可以用愛沖走.剩下美麗的事物.
有一天，我也要用這愛, 將我和我深愛的人緊靠在一起, 不放棄彼此, 永不分離! 會有這一天嗎? 我相信也知道，如果我願意，一定會有這一天的! ^__^
下一刻當大家在祝福彼此平安時,
奇蹟發生!
突然有某人叫我的名字, 原來是這坐在我身邊的女士在叫我, 是碰見很長一段時間沒有看到的人! ^_^ 我的一個老朋友的父母! 碰見大家, 她和我也笑不攏嘴, 擁抱在一起!
如此驚喜, 在這個教堂已經不是第一次了, 上次也在門口碰見一個老校友. ^ ^ 然而這次認識的人在這麼多座位的教堂竟然巧合地坐在我身邊, 感覺非常非常神奇! 在回家的路上，我笑出了聲!
星期日同一下午, 約了最近密切了很多的好朋友一起去彌撒... 是的，我再去彌撒 (這個最近才又聯繫上的好朋友也是奇蹟, 下一篇文章我會與您分享我的感受 ^^)至少有一年半沒有去這個教堂, 感覺像舊日子, 嘆息著光陰似箭, 但心情是快樂的
奇蹟又發生!
沒想到還會碰見認識的人, 因為我從來沒有來過這場彌撒! 非常驚喜, 彌撒後, 我緊張地走過去打招呼. 他們也驚喜, 我忍不住擁抱她, 我其實這些天突然十分懷念昔日在這個教堂的回憶, 美好的超過不快樂的許多許多! 有時我問自己，我為什麼不回去探望大家？ 我是想見大家的. ^ - ^ 我大概還沒有準備好, 我現在想變為好的基督徒，然後出來再見大家. 還有是因為我此刻感覺沒有太多好東西可以和大家談, 這一刻我還在體現和思考這些天的每一件事. 現在最想準備自己的心情和了解我自己, 了解天主.
星期日,
我兩次見天主
我兩次碰見愛
天主是在安慰鼓勵我嗎?
走出自己的恐懼, 心痛遺憾, 返回天主的擁抱,
換回很多我以往用仇恨掩蓋住的美好東西
這一天,
突然讓我再一次感覺到這麼多年也沒見的人,
即使多年沒有聯繫, 各自各的在生活著,
祗要大家活在天主的愛內，我們彼此的愛和思念是不會變的.
因為天主會永遠用他無限的愛將我們凝聚在一起!
所有骯髒的東西, 想法和過去, 我相信可以用愛沖走.剩下美麗的事物.
有一天，我也要用這愛, 將我和我深愛的人緊靠在一起, 不放棄彼此, 永不分離! 會有這一天嗎? 我相信也知道，如果我願意，一定會有這一天的! ^__^
Monday, February 1, 2010
Everyday Miracles #1
I am now believing in miracles, when I believe, things will happen! When I do things with my full will, things will turn out!
Today, another miracles happened to me ^_^ Lost and Found. Today, I learned if I am willing, I shall find what I want!
Looking for the Bible and the Catechism of the Catholic Church in my room. Since two days ago, I had been thinking, where's the Bible, where's the Catechism?? I keep thinking of the possible places it can be at, and today, I decided to stop thinking anymore (which I tend to do alot on many things) and just dig into it and look for it - with my hands. Because I can't wait to find them and start reading! ^ ^
My room had been extremely super messy these days (it's in the definitely worse condition I ever have in my life right now...) With only spaces enough to walk or reach things, I looked under my bed, in my drawers, with no success, I moved to look at books and stuffs I had kept in many of the plastic or paper boxes I have.
Miracle does happen #1 - Suddenly while moving aside stacks of mess on the floor so I can get to the boxes, in the stacks of mess I found this book "The Secret"! My best friend had been recommending this to me since a few weeks ago and mentioned it three times telling me to look for the TV series... I am so happy that this book miraculously appeared in my room... (now that I remembered, it was my Dad who picked it up from his work and give it to me) NICE! Must be God telling me to read this positive thinking book ^_^
Miracle does happen #2- Go on to my boxes (finally!) Many things, many memories contained in these boxes of possessions, and many of the things I forgotten and cannot recalled I even have them. Presents, letters, many gifts back in the days when I was a kid... it's a very nice memory trip to the past... And while I was enjoy looking through these things, I found some of my favourite old CDs that I wanting to listen these days!! I thought it's moved to my sister's place already?! (and also my friend asked me last week to rip one of his favourite songs which I can't seem to find the CD till now!!!) Thanks God! (you also gave me a bonus - the 2002 World Youth Day CDs that I can so listen to these days because I had been searching for spiritual songs now!)
Miracle does happen #3- It was not until I looked at the second stacks of boxes until I found my Bible and Catechism inside this hugh shoebox. I'm so glad that everything I looked for - Bible, Catechism, Some other religious reading all inside this box ^_^ As a bonus, there's also this book I believe my sister borrowed from her friend long long time ago that talks about Christianity and the philosophy in Gospel that I would be so interested to read right now.
Today, it's a tough task to "move around" the messy room, but I found what I needed and did slightly bit of tidy up on the way... thank you God. ^__^ and next thing I will do is really tidy up and throw away things because I want to have a fresh room - a fresh start, a fresh Chinese New Year?!
"The more Clutter around you, the More Clutter in You" - Quotation from Life's Missing Instruction Manual
Today, another miracles happened to me ^_^ Lost and Found. Today, I learned if I am willing, I shall find what I want!
Looking for the Bible and the Catechism of the Catholic Church in my room. Since two days ago, I had been thinking, where's the Bible, where's the Catechism?? I keep thinking of the possible places it can be at, and today, I decided to stop thinking anymore (which I tend to do alot on many things) and just dig into it and look for it - with my hands. Because I can't wait to find them and start reading! ^ ^
My room had been extremely super messy these days (it's in the definitely worse condition I ever have in my life right now...) With only spaces enough to walk or reach things, I looked under my bed, in my drawers, with no success, I moved to look at books and stuffs I had kept in many of the plastic or paper boxes I have.
Miracle does happen #1 - Suddenly while moving aside stacks of mess on the floor so I can get to the boxes, in the stacks of mess I found this book "The Secret"! My best friend had been recommending this to me since a few weeks ago and mentioned it three times telling me to look for the TV series... I am so happy that this book miraculously appeared in my room... (now that I remembered, it was my Dad who picked it up from his work and give it to me) NICE! Must be God telling me to read this positive thinking book ^_^
Miracle does happen #2- Go on to my boxes (finally!) Many things, many memories contained in these boxes of possessions, and many of the things I forgotten and cannot recalled I even have them. Presents, letters, many gifts back in the days when I was a kid... it's a very nice memory trip to the past... And while I was enjoy looking through these things, I found some of my favourite old CDs that I wanting to listen these days!! I thought it's moved to my sister's place already?! (and also my friend asked me last week to rip one of his favourite songs which I can't seem to find the CD till now!!!) Thanks God! (you also gave me a bonus - the 2002 World Youth Day CDs that I can so listen to these days because I had been searching for spiritual songs now!)
Miracle does happen #3- It was not until I looked at the second stacks of boxes until I found my Bible and Catechism inside this hugh shoebox. I'm so glad that everything I looked for - Bible, Catechism, Some other religious reading all inside this box ^_^ As a bonus, there's also this book I believe my sister borrowed from her friend long long time ago that talks about Christianity and the philosophy in Gospel that I would be so interested to read right now.
Today, it's a tough task to "move around" the messy room, but I found what I needed and did slightly bit of tidy up on the way... thank you God. ^__^ and next thing I will do is really tidy up and throw away things because I want to have a fresh room - a fresh start, a fresh Chinese New Year?!
"The more Clutter around you, the More Clutter in You" - Quotation from Life's Missing Instruction Manual
Love is...
Inspired by this blog
and this week's mass reading
1 Corinthians 13
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
I read this week's passage again many times. The more I read, the more I reflect upon myself. I failed to do most of what God taught us about love. My love failed because I did not love properly. I forgot God, I did not know and remember how to love. I only trust, hope, endure, persevere and commit to our relationships in wrong and negative ways. I was blinded by evils. That's why nothing got through to my mind all these years, that's why I did every possible opposite things from what love shall do. I had no love in life, I had no love in God. Now I learned that only telling each other and doing all things about love is nothing, because without love, it was and we were nothing.
If only God enters me earlier, and if we did spend even any little more time to study God's Love together in a serious manner. I'm sure things will be totally different. But the commitment is broken, everything's over. If God really meant to lead us to separated paths, there's really nothing I can do but follow and trust His plan.
I seek God, I seek love.
I look around, God is everywhere. Love is everywhere.
God is love, and Love is God.
God has now enter me, so love has now fill inside me,
I shall love and be loved again soon.
There 's always plenty of God's love for everyone.
Prayer from Sunday Mass:
"For those who is hurt by the person who did not love you, for those who hurt someone whom you should have love but did not love. May you heal, forgive and love. Lift up your heart to God because God is love, and love is God."
and this week's mass reading
1 Corinthians 13
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
I read this week's passage again many times. The more I read, the more I reflect upon myself. I failed to do most of what God taught us about love. My love failed because I did not love properly. I forgot God, I did not know and remember how to love. I only trust, hope, endure, persevere and commit to our relationships in wrong and negative ways. I was blinded by evils. That's why nothing got through to my mind all these years, that's why I did every possible opposite things from what love shall do. I had no love in life, I had no love in God. Now I learned that only telling each other and doing all things about love is nothing, because without love, it was and we were nothing.
If only God enters me earlier, and if we did spend even any little more time to study God's Love together in a serious manner. I'm sure things will be totally different. But the commitment is broken, everything's over. If God really meant to lead us to separated paths, there's really nothing I can do but follow and trust His plan.
I seek God, I seek love.
I look around, God is everywhere. Love is everywhere.
God is love, and Love is God.
God has now enter me, so love has now fill inside me,
I shall love and be loved again soon.
There 's always plenty of God's love for everyone.
Prayer from Sunday Mass:
"For those who is hurt by the person who did not love you, for those who hurt someone whom you should have love but did not love. May you heal, forgive and love. Lift up your heart to God because God is love, and love is God."
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