House Party

House party is nice.
You get to see friends.
You get to eat, drink, play games.
Tonight, something rather new too... Meeting these many kids and babies in house party had not been a familiar thing for me because I have not many friends with kids and babies.

Tonight is a new experience, it makes me bit nervous, not because I don't like babies/kids, because I feel like I might not fit in because I am not "on that level". I hope I did fit in hahaha... I do had lots of fun, mostly from watching and make funny faces and jokes with kids/babies.

Thinking of the years to come. Will I ever have a family? A kid? I really wonder. I like kids, I love seeing and playing with them. But I'm really not the person who take initiate to hug or hold a child. Would it be different if it's my own child? I can only guess and imagine now, since I have a long way to go.

Where's my "DH" potential??? Would I ever be a "DW" to anyone??? I see my friends either having a family with a child, married, or soon to be married. I wonder if I am too behind on these. I get sad to think, what if I was a better GF, I could have already be on the same stage.

What can I do now though, the truth is, I failed a "life course". I am telling myself I should enjoy this "me time", which I can do whatever I want now. Care my God, my spirit, myself, my family and friends is what I really really want to do now.

Thank you for the fun and new kind of party.